I apologise in advance as this will probably be rather a jumble of issues all piling up on me. I need to get them out as I'm spending days having to stop myself from bursting into tears with all the pressure building up.
I am desperately sad. I struggle this time of year after a traumatic event two years ago. I am not allowed to be affected by this, because it didn't directly concern me. A friend was bereaved, and although I didn't 'know' the deceased the whole incident has genuinely left me quite... I don't know. I struggle with it. It hurt me. I am not allowed to open up about this because relatively soon after the friend fell out with me, as I wouldn't condone something they did. Despite apologies and explanations this friend cut contact - and that's fine. You gotta do. However this has left me adrift, I have nobody to talk to about how I am left feeling. I know I shouldn't feel upset but I really do.
Additionally, I am really finding my work difficult. I am unchallenged, bored and underpaid. I have only recently returned to work after being a SAHM for over 10 years and miss being at home immensely. I feel I 'get' nothing from working. We are worse off financially as childcare is crippling us, I am miserable and there's no progression. I want to stay home but I have to try and stick it out a bit longer. My boss is a close relative so deciding to leave isn't as easy as it should be - I would lose all the minuscule amount of familial support I currently get.
Then there's the finances. We are so behind on debt payments that I'm head burying. Please don't suggest step change et al - I have tried them, they cannot help us. We're just stuck. I hate feeling this way and being constantly scrabbling for pennies to feed us - we both work for gods sake it should not be that way! All debt has been through essential living costs, we don't holiday/takeaway/have any extravagance. At all.
Top all that off with a miscarriage of an accidental but much wanted, if financially ill advised, baby. I'm an absolute mess.
I can't talk to anyone! Family is out because of work but also never bloody helpful when I've tried to talk in the past anyway. My DH will listen but there's precious little he can actually do so he finds it frustrating - he doesn't like knowing I'm unhappy but not being able to fix it. I don't want to cause him extra stress and worry himself too. I don't have many friends left and I am reluctant to approach those I do because I feel I can't trust anyone any more after the previous events. I have been burned. I feel so alone. 
Well done if you managed all of that. I'm not sure what response I really want to be honest, I just need to get it out.