Anxiety resurfacing affecting my marriage

[cwtchesandcheese]

Hi all, I'm a little nervous posting this as this is incredibly personal and private to me. (The positives of an anonymous account ey?)

I am in an incredibly stable recovery from anxiety and anorexia. I had these disorders for six years before I met my DH. I used to have dozens of workers, counsellors etc. ( was very ill) We fell in love, I became much happier and decided to start our own family. Now very happily married with a beautiful month old daughter. I thought I had recovered completely from my anxiety but there are still aspects that resurface. It's affects my relationship with my husband and I don't know what to do. My husband is a gold star medal and when I get anxious, I get passive aggressive with him. It's not normal.
My anxiety builds up these scenarios and jumps to conclusions in my head about him. The majority of the time, in fact 99% he has done nothing wrong and it's just my anxiety creating these problems in my head. It's much better than it was and doesn't create as much riff raff in our relationship than when we first met. I know it stems from trauma as a late teen but has nothing to do with my husband. He is beyond patient, loving and understanding with me. I feel so embarrassed, and when it happens he admits it feels like I'm pushing him away and he feels I don't totally trust him. I've seen so many counsellors over the years regarding my mental health. My husband literally dotes on me, would get me the moon if I needed it.

😘 sounds like you feel guilty for being anxious and maybe a bit worried about your old ways returning which is understandable especially with a month old baby! If your partner says he's ok with everything try to accept his help and understanding and do what you can to take care of yourself too. Is there anything which has helped your anxiety in the past you can draw on as an early intervention type strategy for yourself? X

Just after having a baby can stir up anxiety even in those who never suffered before. Be patient with yourself. You are adjusting to having a baby and all that entails. Keep communication open with your dh so he knows where you are coming from and try not to panic and let your mind go into overdrive.

I think, as june says, try and keep in mind that you're going through an anxiety-provoking time at the moment. I know acknowledging that helps ease my own anxiety, in addition to using strategies I've learnt in the past - maybe it would help you, even just a little?