I'm struggling today

[Patheticfallacy]

Been doing really well for ages. Having a bit of a crisis point in my relationship. My boyfriend is stressed and depressed. He's on hols at the moment and messaged on Monday to wish me a nice week and to tell me he'd got there safely etc. But I'm just finding it so hard. I ate a lot of food and was sick today. I feel like crying and I feel unattractive and worthless. I'm not sure why I'm feeling like this.

Just bumping

No one

Hi Patheticfallacy, sorry no one else has replied but sorry to hear you are feeling this way, it's frustrating isn't it when you don't know the reason.

Sometimes there isn't a reason you are feeling that way. The feeling just comes and you have to cope as best you can, and seek help if you can't.

Are you finding it hard because you miss him or because of his depression, or both/neither? You don't have to answer I just wondered if you meant you are finding the situation hard, or just life in general.

If you still want to talk then I am here if you want someone to listen, although can't promise my advice will be the best as I'm struggling a lot myself at the moment.

I think it is a bit of everything really. We were so close last year and I feel very distant from him now. I have a horrible empty feeling.

If one or possibly both of you are depressed to some degree then it can definitely cause you to feel detached and distant. When he gets back it would probably be good to have a very honest talk with him about how you are both feeling otherwise both of you keeping it bottled up can make things worse. In the mean time, is there anything you can think of to distract you from these negative feelings? E.g go for a walk, read, speak to a friend/relative or whatever you feel you can manage that might lift your mood or at least distract you. And you say you feel like crying - there's nothing wrong with crying if you want to, just let it all out! If you feel detached them crying is a good way to remind yourself you have still got emotions, they are normal and it is totally normal to cry when you feel down.

Hang in there and you can talk on here or PM if you want to.

Thank you. I've just had a nice bath which has made me feel a bit better. Going to a wedding tonight with my friend. I don't really feel like it but it will probably do me good to get out.
He's travelling back today, so hopefully he'll contact me when he's back and settled and we can get things on track. He's been very withdrawn.

Glad to hear the bath helped; I'm guilty of suggesting that to others and hardly ever having nice baths myself but must try it more often.

Going out probably helps too, can be easier said than done but definitely give it a go if you feel you can.

Good luck with the chat with your boyfriend. If he's feeling stressed/depressed he will probably find it a relief to talk about it even if it's a bit awkward or difficult at first.