Should I date him?

[user87654321]

Good evening.

I am a little confused. Before I went on a date with a guy, he told me that he'd been sectioned three times; the last time being around twenty months ago for a month- the first time for six months & that was around three years ago. Apparently, it came on through an awful divorce. He sees a counsellor every week, so he says. And has his children again, over night.

The date went absolutely fine, by the way, but I feel wary. Am I right to feel like this (apart from the fact he is a stranger) or do I stop stereotyping him & go with the flow? For the record, I work in the MH profession & seem to think I should l know better on how to handle this.

Please, no snotty replies, I am genuinely confused.

Thank you for reading x

Thanks for the advice, guys.

I certainly didn't mean to come across as judgement, although I may have come across that way.

Destinysdaughter- that is what I was thinking. I don't drink so, I guess for me, drinking a couple of pints midday, instead of a meal, seemed out of the ordinary - to me.

Fairlylee/eatsleep- that was the part that just didn't sit right with me.

BTW I agree that someone having a couple of pints instead of dinner when they're in charge of a small child is a bad sign! We've all said things that didn't come across how we meant them.

Destiny, people who've had mental health problems are allowed to have a drink now and again That's not the problem here.

I know that! But this guy would seem to have a problem with his alcohol usage.

Okay Destiny, it was just the

"I think if he's had such severe mental health problems he shouldn't be drinking."

bit that made me feel a bit as it seems to cover anyone who has a serious mental health problem, problem drinker or not.

Or even anyone who's ever had a serious mental health problem!

I don't drink at all & I guess I don't want to be in a r'ship with someone who drinks regularly, mental health issues or not.

That's your choice and that's fine! I just disagree with what I thought Destiny seemed to be saying in her earlier post.

Ah, okay.

So what are you going to do OP?

I think I am going to have to leave it where it is, destiny. In my mind, it was a perfectly natural question to ask someone you are getting to know. There was no way the question was intended to offend or intrude. But clearly it did, and he saw it as an inappropriate question.

I'm too old to do guessing games or cryptic. Either you drink regularly or you don't.

I think that is a wise decision. All things considered there's just too many potential red flags. Especially his defensiveness.

I think you've made the right decision. He may be a decent guy but the early days should be fun. This does not sound like fun. Too many heavy conversations. Jump now.

I'm with you too OP, and I don't think it was an intrusive question at all. If someone asked me that I'd probably say a couple of glasses of wine at the weekend or maybe more regularly on holiday, certainly I wouldn't feel judged or defensive because I don't feel there's anything to judge. He obviously did.

But that's it, Finola, the convo was not intended to be heavy. It was just a general question after he had mentioned that he'd taken his child to the pub for a meal but he didn't have a meal, just a couple of pints.

But, yes, a wise decision

Agreed, lamp. It was a pretty cut & dried question.