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Original poster

anxiety - don't know where to turn

29 replies

olddogsnewtricks · 28/07/2016 21:33

I was told by my doctor that I had general anxiety last year but he said that he thought I could cope with it through exercise and positive thinking. I can't. Sad He has said the only other thing he can offer me is group therapy which I really can't face. I really don't think I can just live with it anymore as it is effecting my marriage, my work and my children. The list of things I am too scared of doing is getting longer and my world is getting smaller and smaller. I have already been reprimanded at work for not doing something that I put off and put off because it upset me (although it wasn't anything strange!) I live abroad and can't change GPs but don't know where to go from here. Any advice? Thanks!

OP posts:
user87654321 · 28/07/2016 22:02

Have you tried antidepressants, op?

Original poster
olddogsnewtricks · 28/07/2016 22:15

No, GP doesn't believe in them!

OP posts:
user87654321 · 28/07/2016 22:22

That's difficult, then!

Laiba · 28/07/2016 22:29

Ask him to refer you to CBT with a therapist one to one. It's really useful and really helps to talk your worries through with a person there to listen.

Lovelydiscusfish · 28/07/2016 23:05

Anxiety is very hard to cope with. A couple of people close to me have suffered from it recently, and have found help through different outlets, as follows:

  1. Had CBT counselling, initially paid for by his work, then he privately paid for some sessions. Gave him some insight, and some practical strategies for coping. Has really helped.
  2. His GP prescribed some drugs. They've helped him cope, though potentially haven't got to the root of the problem.
OP, if you are able to pay for some short term CBT counselling, that might help clarify your options? Do hope you are ok!
allegretto · 29/07/2016 05:52

Thanks. I have resisted counselling before as I will have to pay for it but I think I'll have to! Dh really doesn't "get" anxiety or indeed depression which doesn't help.

lovechocolate123 · 29/07/2016 06:02

I recently had CBT for health anxiety. It helped a little but didn't cure it. There are some books that can help too. Recently my anxiety is worse than ever and I think it's because I am at home on my own with my kids all the time and I have too much time to think. When I am busy or working it's not so bad. Have you got any friends or family you have spoken to about this?

lovechocolate123 · 29/07/2016 06:08

My DH is the same he thinks I can just snap out of it. I have tried to explain it but he just doesn't get it. I tell him it's like this black fog or dark tunnel and I can't see the way out. I do find that yoga helps and controlled breathing. But when it's so bad like now all I feel is doom . Sorry I am not so much help. Please don't think you are alone

PeaceOfWildThings · 29/07/2016 06:13

CBT has helped me a lot with anxiety too.
Also getting tested for underlying causes (e. g. a thyroid condition, abnormal iron levels, etc.)

Sorry to hear about your doctor. Keep going back, be persistent and clear. Flowers

Original poster
olddogsnewtricks · 29/07/2016 06:14

That does help lovechocolate! I have been so busy this year that I have really neglected exercise and yoga. Will have to make it a priority. My family apart from DH don't know - they would just say "pull yourself together" so I'd rather not. Hope you feel better soon!

OP posts:
lovechocolate123 · 29/07/2016 06:25

I know it doesn't help if family and DH don't get. It's not just something you can snap out. I have been trying to write down 3 things I am grateful for every morning.
Please try and get some CBT I think it could help. I filled in a self referral form and had to wait 6-8 weeks but I think it would really help. You see with my health anxiety I hate going to the doctor. I had a panic attack in the waiting room once

Honeyandfizz · 29/07/2016 07:24

Oh I can so relate! I'm currently sat on holiday in France surrounded by stunning mountains yet all I feel is a complete bag of nerves. I struggle with being away from home, I don't fly anymore so we came via tunnel but I literally had a complete panic meltdown & the anxiety has been with me since.

A couple of things I have found useful in the past is Dr Claire Weekes self help for nerves book. Although it's an old book I did find some of the techniques useful such as floating through the anxiety. Also it helps to know this is just adrenaline making us feel this way, not a big bad monster & whilst its uncomfy it won't kill us. Another thing to try is the mindfulness app, I've found the relaxation techniques useful in the past.

Your GP doesn't sound understanding at all mine prescribed me Sertraline 50mg a day which I've taken for a while now & that has helped.

I really really do know how utterly miserable this feeling is & can totally relate to you xx

Morasssassafras · 29/07/2016 07:57

I'd encourage you to do the group therapy.

I was very lucky and randomly chatted to a guy who had just been in group therapy for 3 years and who had told me that despite his initial resistance it had actually been a hugely positive thing and had really helped him. That made my decision 3 days later, when it was suggested to me, an easy one. It's a complex needs group rather than anxiety specific but I'm finding it really helpful, although it is obviously difficult to just attend, never mind speak, at first.

Original poster
olddogsnewtricks · 29/07/2016 08:15

Thanks so much for all the suggestions. The problem with the group therapy is it wouldn't be in English as I am abroad. I speak the local language but not sure I could speak well in front of others. Also it is part of the university hospital - I work at the university and I have the (probably irrational) fear that I will meet some of my students!

OP posts:
cariboo · 29/07/2016 08:21

I suffer from anxiety-induced insomnia. My GP wants me off the sleeping tablets, which terrifies me & actually makes the anxiety - and insomnia! - worse. So, I'm trying acupuncture. I've been twice and although it hasn't cured the insomnia, it's helped enormously with the anxiety.

Haggisfish · 29/07/2016 08:24

Go and see a different gp even if you have to register somewhere else. Absolute bollocks to them if they don't believe in drugs to help. Would they deny insulin to diabetics? They should also be able to refer you for free for counselling. Waiting list will be massive so try online cbt such as livinglifetothefull.

Haggisfish · 29/07/2016 08:25

Also, exercise really helps.

lovechocolate123 · 29/07/2016 08:42

How do you find out about group therapy sessions?

lovechocolate123 · 29/07/2016 09:09

One other question: Has anyone found that their anxiety has worsened as they've got older?

I am 43 next month and my anxiety is worse than it has ever been.

Morasssassafras · 29/07/2016 09:14

Lovechocolate, in the UK either see your gp, contact your local self referral mental health service (google yourtown mental health self refer) or contact Mind - one of these should be able to help.

Original poster
olddogsnewtricks · 29/07/2016 09:18

lovechocolate - we are the same age and yes, it has got worse for me. I have been anxious for a long while about flying, going to new places etc but in the last few years it has just got worse and worse to the extent that I am permanently scared. I can no longer drive (unless very local) and even then not always but now I am also scared when DH drives! It's getting ridiculous. I also had two really strange episodes where I literally didn't know where I was or what was real for about 5 minutes - difficult to explain but it terrified me.

OP posts:
Honeyandfizz · 29/07/2016 09:26

lovechocolate yes absolutely! I'm 40 next birthday & ive got much much worse over my 30s. Wish I had a magic cure for us all but sadly I don't. My dh has been so patient with me not flying so we have done European holidays, now it looks like I'll be restricted to the uk! Actually though I'm determined that won't happen for the sake of my family. I'm definitely going to look into CBT when I'm home the only thing that puts me off is finding a therapist I feel comfortable with.

lovechocolate123 · 29/07/2016 15:08

I have wondered if it is hormonal and the start of perimenopause ?

Arcadia · 30/07/2016 09:51

Same here, 42! My anxiety is not really attached to anything but doesn't stop me doing anything but it is there all the time or almost. So tired of it.
I have tried everything, ADs, CBT, counselling, acupuncture, massage, I do regular yoga and exercise anyway, I was also doing mindfulness meditation almost daily after a course last autumn and thought I was 'cured' but it has crept back. I have lapsed a bit On the meditation so need to pick that up again.
It is currently manifesting as panic that I am in the 'wrong' life and have made all the wrong choices and that I am massively missing out on the life I should be living. I am doubting my relationship but don't know of it's real or my anxiety fastening onto it.
SadSorry no help to anyone else!

Arcadia · 30/07/2016 09:57

franticworld.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/Cropped-Book-Cover-Hi-Res.jpg
I do recommend this book OP a good starting point.
My issue with ADs was that they really ramped up my anxiety when coming off them, and whilst going on them to some extent.