I am completely done.

[Aveiam]

I have no energy or motivation to do anything. I don't want to eat, drink, wash, get out of bed.
I can't cope with feeling like this. My anti depressants are shit, my doctor is tired of me, the mental health team/psych never calls me back, I just want to be gone.
I think I've got BPD but they're not taking me seriously. I fucking wish I didn't have any shitty mental health problems but I do and I need help but no one will listen.
They only hear me when I hurt myself, which I've been trying my bloody hardest not to do. But what's the point in trying not to do it when I can't get help if I don't?

I have to go to bed now as I have to get up early for work. I hope you have a better day tomorrow

Have you tried phoning the Samaritans?

I am so sorry to hear you lost your daughter.

Oh love that's so hard. My dad has dementia so I do understand. I had a little sob tonight as I felt so alone. It's so hard sometimes. You're very young to be facing all this.

But you've done really well to have left an abusive relationship. You can have a much brighter future now for you and your DC. Tell us about her.

So sorry, I just read you lost your daughter.

Do you have any pp to support you, friends, family?

I have had some very dark times. Reading your posts is reminding me of a time when I was just trying to get through 5 minutes at a time.
I understand you are feeling dreadful but right now, in this 5 minutes, you are keeping going.

Just brought to mind that saying from Winston Churchill (who had terrible depression) "When you're going through hell, keep going"

I just can't handle the fact that this is going on and on and on. And I have no way out. It's like I've broken into many different pieces.

Sorry to hear about your daughter. I know what it's like to not have a mum around. Have you tried to ring Samaritans ? Please don't think you are alone.

As you've suffered the worst kind of bereavement, you can get in touch with cruse, they offer bereavement counselling and I think its free. Its also probably why the anti-depressants are not helping, you are not depressed, you are in a deep state of grief. Which is totally understandable.

www.cruse.org.uk/ I hope they can help you

Thank you for the link
I don't understand though as grieving doesn't equal wanting to die does it? I don't know

Hi again, honey.
I am struggling to get help from crappy mh 'services too. So I have no wise words, but I do understand.
Please go to A&E if you feel on the verge of hurting yourself. You could show them this thread.

Grieving and what you have been through could easily lead to feelings of wanting to die. I really think you are totally and understandably wrapped in grief. But I also think that with the right help and support you can and you will get through this.