Friendship anxiety

[feathermucker]

Have suffered from both severe depression and anxiety.

Would say there's certainly an element of depression present, but currently anxiety is my 'demon'.

I worry a LOT about friends, how they view me, what they think of me, do they like me, will they invite me etc.

I get a feeling of almost intense jealousy sometimes.

If I feel like I've missed out on something, I will get a feeling I can't quite explain inside me. It's like a pang almost.

The worst thing is that, almost straight away, I will know it's illogical, yet this feeling won't go away for quite a while.

How do other people feel about their friendship groups?

I'm the same - my aniexty focuses on the social things and relationships with friends. I never feel like I have real friends (even though I have lovely friends) and always feel a low priority or on the periphery. I tried counselling but the counsellor gave up on me after six weeks. Sometimes I try and tell myself that none of this will matter in fifty years time so why worry about it? And that I can't control how others feel about me so it's pointless going through all the angst. But mostly it just creeps up on me and I end up in a never ending cycle of worry. Am off to up my dose!

I'm exactly the same OP. I have lots of wonderful friends who I think I know deep down really care about me and like being around me, but I can't shake the feeling that secretly they all hate me, bitch about me and think about all my personality flaws all the time.
Seeing it written down I can see what nonsense that is, but you're right it's very very difficult to shake.
I have two sisters who I abdolutley adore and we are all very close. But if I find out they have done something without me (even though I myself do stuff with one and not the other) I feel such a pang in my stomach, like they must have just spent the whole time slagging me off and saying what an awful person I am. It's horrible.
I read something recently that has helped:
'You would worry a lot less about what people thought about you if you realised how rarely they think about you'
Meaning that people don't sit there and pick apart people's personalities and what they do and do not like about them.
Do you?
I know I don't. I don't obsessively think about my best friend and who she is. I just know I love her and she's a good person. That's all their is.
Out of curiosity, how were your friendships at school?
I know mine have had a huge impact on the way I feel about myself now. Turning up and none off them talking to me for no reason, so being overly clingy, hearing them constantly talk about me behind my back. I was a sensitive soul anyway and it has absolutely effected me more than I think I like to realise.
Sorry that was long!
You're not alone