Health Anxiety is out of control

[lovechocolate123]

Hi, this my first ever post on here. For the past 10 months I have been struggling with health anxiety to the extent that it if particularly taking over my life. I feel that no one seems to understand. It started in October last year when I had stomach problems. I was feeling nauseous all the time and as a result lots weight. Had heaps of tests done but they couldn't find the cause. Now whenever I get a symptom i go on the Internet and scare myself to death. I am convinced the doctors have got it wrong and that I have a serious illness..,cancer in particular. All these horrible thoughts play on my mind. When I was really bad I couldn't sleep. I have had a course of CBT which has definitely helped but it is still there.Sorry for the rabbling post but I really feel like I have no one to turn to.

Pinocchio- I used to go out running too and do classes at the gym but stopped when the nausea and problems with stomach started in October because I think if I am seriously ill the exercise will make it worse. Now I do yoga once a week. I quite enjoy it and I think it helps me to relax. How else do you manage your Heath anxiety? Did you find out what was wrong?

thats rubbish :( yoga sounds good though. The running has helped me a lot but my ddad is a doctor so I torture him constantly. I haven't found out what's wrong but it's a protein which can be indicative of cancer or... can be found in people with inflammatory arthritis which is of course more likely. I need to go back in a few weeks to see. I understand how difficult it is to have any kind of rational thought when you feel like this. For the most part I have huge confidence in doctors and nowadays they are so concerned about being sued that they really do try and rule out every possibility. I'd try and keep up the yoga , I'm certainly going to keep running, the benefits have been massive.

I have suffered with health anxiety since I was a teenager - it's a horrbike horrible thing. I'm on citalopram at the moment (and have been for over a year), and it definitely takes the edge off it. It's so wearing and takes the shine off everything - I've talked to other people and said it's like watching your life from somewhere about 10 metres behind yourself with a whole cloud of worries in front of you. I've done cbt but find it hard to get over the final "but what if?" thing. I'm under the cmht at the moment, and they have suggested I try out act - I'm reading a book called the happiness trap which is quite interesting and has some different ideas in it. I'm also trying a bit of mindfulness, although at the moment I feel like all it does is leave space for the worries. I'm having a bit of a lull in ha at the moment, but it will fixate on something new pretty soon - it's what it does for me. And mine is always cancer too.At the moment my primary mission is to not use dr Google at all -its so hard to fight the compulsion, but it's so not helpful - any symptom at all you can think of will have cancer on its list - and the ha makes that seem like the main one. I'm also trying to wean myself off reassurance seeking - that's not going as well. I had a bit of a set back after seeing a superbly unhelpful psychiatrist, but am hopeful that I can beat it at the moment.

Thanks. I can relate to a lot of what you have written. I have always been a worrier from a young age. But this health anxiety only really started last October. It was so bad at one stage whenever I heard the word 'cancer' in the radio or tv I would turn it off. I think the root of this stems from the fact that my mum died from a brain tumour when I was 17 and it took the doctors ages to diagnose so I think it could happen again ..... Irrational I know. What gives me comfort is that I am not alone in battling this. The way I deal with it is to keep busy although the therapist who I saw for my CBT says that helps but is not the best strategy.
Apanicday-will try to get hold of that book you suggested.

Pinocchio- my sister is a doctor too. She too got fed up with me asking her for advice or reassurance.

Good to read all these posts, totally understand where you are all coming from. I also started running after Christmas and did find that helped although once my husband changes his work pattern I couldn't keep it up due to childcare.

I also ask DH to hide my iPad sometimes so I can't sit and Google in the evenings.

I find reading a good book helps too.

I too have the cancer fear, lots of friends have had cancer and dh's best friend has recently died of it aged 49 so this has set me off again. I find it pathetic that I'm like this. This year alone I've diagnosed myself with bladder cancer, nasal cancer, eye cancer, salivary cancer and skin cancer . I have none of those things obvs but I start off with a totally small symptom, start googling and the next thing I'm digging my bloody grave. I too have to hide anything relating to cancer I see on social media, can't bear it. I went to the opticians for an eye test, they took an X-ray of the back of my eye, put it up on the screen and I went into a major panic because I thought the white blob on the screen was a tumour. I started sweating and getting palpitations......it was my fucking optic nerve . Even I'm laughing now it sounds so ridiculous reading this back.

But I'm like it with everything, I made a mistake at work recently. In the grand scheme of things it was no biggie, cost the business about £200 but I made myself ill over it, even though I've saved them thousands this year. I googled and fucked about for a whole week, couldn't eat, sleep, function properly. When I told my boss she went mad at me.....for worrying! Said it was nothing, forget it!

Get me those pills!

I am the same just sitting in a doctors waiting room now gives me palpitations. When it all started last year and I was going to the doctors a lot I think I nearly had a panic attack in the waiting room once. The receptionist had to take me into one of the side rooms. Unfortunately, I had to bring my kids with me and saw me in that state.

My concern I pass this awfulness onto my kids. I would hate for them to be like me.

When I have been really bad my husband has taken my phone off me so I don't research on the Internet. Not sure if this helps.

My fear is that I might have pancreatic or ovarian cancer ( even typing the words makes me feel bad) I have had a blood test for ovarian cancer which came back negative, infact I have had so many tests which have all come back normal. But I keep thinking maybe they got it wrong.

Tanfastic- do you have any strategies that you use that help ?

Apanicaday- What is cmht? What is 'act' they have asked you to try?

I found the CBT helped me but when I am really bad some days ( especially when I have physical symptoms) I can't stop worrying and none of the CBT strategies help.

I really want to conquer this!

Lovechocolate - no strategies to be honest I've only just recently admitted I have a problem. I've got a docs appt on Tuesday where I'm hoping he will give me something to take the edge off it. Not sure what. I just hope he doesn't think I'm a time waster. In fact I'm already worrying about how I explain to him how I'm feeling.

I am having such an awful day. Feeling bloated, sick and dizzy. It's really hard with the two kids. Feel like crying because I keep thinking something is wrong and the doctors missed something otherwise why would I feel like this. I don't know who to turn to.

Cmht is the community mental health team - I was referred to them by my gp. Act stands for acceptance and commitment therapy I think - it's a bit different to cbt because rather than trying to rationalise the thoughts (which I find impossible with the health stuff) it's more about saying "yes I am having these thoughts, but they are just thoughts". I am figuring it's worth a go! Sorry to hear you've been having a bad time - I totally understand your thoughts. At the moment I'm sure I have throat cancer, but before that it was ovarian cancer (and I still have some minor obsessions avout that too) so I totally understand. It's always super hard when the childreb are around because it takes so much energy to try to hide it all.

I am currently ruining my "holiday of a lifetime" honeymoon on a beautiful island off the Dominican Republic due to crippling health anxiety :( I really really feel your pain, and the fear of taking medication (I got some paracetamol from the hotel for a strained back but can't bring myself to take it because it isn't normal paracetamol!).

I've been in talking therapy for a good while now (a lot of this was brought on by some stressful events that happened) but I'm getting worse so am taking the doc up on CBT as soon as I'm back (they initially said I had to do either one or the other at a time as they can counteract each other).

It is all consuming isn't it.

I know how you feel. The CBT does help too. I really to try and beat this. Do you take any medication for it?

I could have written your post a year ago!

Had tests for gallstones, ulcers etc. Was in pain a lot. I was convinced I was going to die of cancer, and had visions of my children attending my funeral.

What has helped me massively is Fluoxetine. Had very little side effect. I have put weight on, but don't think that's the medication, more i'm not worried about my imminent death anymore. You should consider medication - life changing

Been on propranolol for years lovechocolate123, been prescribed loads if different AD's in the past but can't bring myself to take them (did try once but it made me feel so unbelievably awful I couldn't carry on).

Tolpuddle, you say Fluoxetine has minimal side effects? Interesting.

That's how it all started with me in October. Felt sick all the time had tests for gallstones, abdominal ultrasound endoscopy, colonoscopy, numerous blood tests for goodness knows what! Since then I have become obsessed about being really ill. I think maybe the doctors have missed something. My main concern is cancer, pancreatic and ovarian. I had a course of CBT which helped a little. Not on medication despite me asking for something to help me sleep from the doc when the anxiety was really but she refused saying it would interfere with the tests I was having done. I am 43 next month and I am beginning to think that this might be hormonal maybe perimenopause?

What sort of med is propranolol ? Does it have side effects?

I've been on Sertraline for under a week and have had no side effects. I was worried they would be awful as well.

It's a beta blocker and was prescribed for panic attacks as it reduces the adrenaline in your body thus reducing the attacks. Doesn't really help with the HA though :(

Off to the GP shortly, mainly to talk about my anxiety. I'm very nervous because the last time I saw this GP he wasn't exactly endearing but hey ho, he'll have to lump it won't he!

I will report back.

Tantastic- good luck let me know how you get on .

I am away with the family but still having problems with my tummy. I keep thinking there is something really wrong and all those doctors missed something. Definitely going to go back to the doctor about this anxiety.

I am due to start my period in a few days. I find that my tummy and then anxiety gets worse just before my period. Does anyone else have this problem?

I really hope you feel like you are getting some help soon. Have you contacted a hypnotherapist for treatment using hypnosis? I am not sure where you are based in the u.k , but there is a hypnotherapist in Colchester in Essex called Stuart Thompson who has many years experience working and helping people overcome their anxieties. His website is. www.stuarthypnotist.com

Hi guys, I've been to the docs. He wasn't the most endearing individual to be fair. He didn't make any sympathetic noises, was terribly matter of fact. Doesn't help does it?!

I started to explain my anxiety but I was also there because of bladder issues as well (and thinking I've got bladder cancer ). He never passed any comment or gave me any reassurance there but what he did say was a recent urine test I had at the weekend has come back from the lab full of infection but NO BLOOD. My dipstick test showed the complete opposite. So at least I know I wasn't imagining my UTI symptoms !

So. He's sent me away with a leaflet about counselling/CBT etc, a prescription for antibiotics for my UTI and 14 days of citroplam for my anxiety. However he said come back and see him in a month so don't understand why he's only given me 14 days for the anxiety tablets. I also started to explain I might have a prolapse but he assured me he did not want to see my fanjo today , so I'll save that for another time....

Thank you I am based in London so probably I a bit too far. Will do some research when I get home. I know that my symptoms and anxiety gets worse the week before my period. Just wondering if anyone else has noticed the same.
Tantastic- let me know how the meds go. Are you feeling a bit better having gone to the GP.
I feel like it's this vicious cycle and I just want it to stop. I convince myself that the doctors have missed something .

Lovechocolate I do feel better but I think it's because I was worried about the blood in my urine and he told me there wasn't any.

He did make me feel a bit of a silly cow to be honest but I suspect his bedside manner wasn't the best. Doesn't make him a shit GP but it always helps if you get one that is a bit sympathetic doesn't it. I will let you know how the meds go

That's good. That's one reason I avoid the GP because I am worried they will not take me seriously.

Tantastic- when did you start to have health anxiety ??