Feeling sorry for myself

[bee024]

Ok, I have nothing to complain about, I have a happy healthy family, we have enough money, I don't have to work. Why do I feel so useless? I have no patience and no motivation. I struggle to engage and interact with my girls (2 & 4) and as a result, they spend most of the time we're at home watching the telly/computer. This is now all they ever want to do, and when I try and engage them in something else they are not interested. My smallest also appears to compulsively eat through boredom. I know I need to try harder to entertain them, but really struggle to find the motivation to do do. I have no patience and loose my temper really quickly, getting cross and frustrated with them. My husband thinks I may be depressed because I am always angry, but that doesn't sound like a symptom of depression to me, anyway I have no reason to be depressed and am generally happy, just rubbish at being a parent. I should be better at dealing with things, I should be able to engage with my children but struggle and I hate to admit this, but they just wind me up and irritate me. I can't focus on anything I want to do with them there. I am a useless, ungrateful waste of space. Just feeling sorry for myself. I just need to get off my arse and JUST DO SOMETHING! I hate myself.

hi OP

Anger/agitation can be a sign of depression, your DH is right. Your writing sounds like a depressed person- you've put yourself down throughout.

Have you been to your GP at all?

Don't beat yourself up for kids watching TV…sometimes it's necessary. I find it helpful to put limits on it .e.g no TV/screen til 5pm when I'm cooking dinner. Sometimes this goes completely out the window though. They might argue they are bored to start with (reply- it's good for you to be bored- makes you more creative!). Usually it's helpful to have a definite idea of an activity though- e.g. making cakes, painting/colouring, going to the park for an hour. But don't overburden yourself- just one activity rather than trying to be supermum and doing everything!

I haven't been to my GP. I hate talking about things like this, I hate admitting there's a problem, plus if I do try and talk about it I'll just end up a blubbering mess.
When I do try activities with the kids, I bet so frustrated with them, and end up shouting, to the point when they no longer want to do activities with me.

It's worth going to the GP, don't worry if you end up a blubbering mess handily they always have loads of tissues and see it repeatedly throughout the day!

Have you tried any mindfulness exercises? Sometimes I found they were useful to avoid getting really cross. Remembering that 'this moment will pass'. But I think what you really need to do is go to the Dr's….