I suffer from severe anxiety, its been up and down last 2 years but the last few weeks its been through the roof
it started when I had a health scare 2 years ago after I had my 3rd dc. think lump. it turned out I was ok but recently I had to have another check up relating to it, again turned out fine and I was happy for a few days. but I just think about death and illness all the time I am particularly scared of cancer, it scares me even writing this down. all you hear is 50% of us will get cancer I am not scared of dying what scares me is knowing it is coming ie if I got ill and was told it was terminal. I can honestly say the thought of me was knocked down by a bus tomorrow or next week or next year doesn't scare me. or if I just didn't wake up. I actually love my life I have 3 lovely dc, am financially ok, I love my job, I have a few good friends, a lovely house, a car, we don't struggle (we really used to but had a couple of strokes of luck and sometimes I feel I don't "deserve" my life)
also dh has lost 2 friends in the last year, one was murdered and one had a heart attack. they were only in their 40s. I also get scared of dh getting ill / dying.... he is older than me (I am 36 and he is 44)
I am jumpy, I have lost my appetite, I feel fearful all the time like something awful is going to happen. the only time I feel safe is in the evening before bed when the dc are all in bed dh and I are all snuggled up watching tv. then I wake up the next morning usually too early for some reason, just with a panicky feeling and spend most of the day feeling like it (up and down) then subsides by the evening.
I have been on sertraline on and off for 12 years for depression (25mg) and 2 weeks ago I decided I needed to ask for more help. so I went to my gp and he just made me feel silly tbh and didn't really have any suggestions other than double my sertraline to 50mg.
so I have been on 50mg for about 2 weeks and haven't noticed any improvement :( ....also the sertraline kills my sex drive and that in turn makes me anxious as If dh and I are not having regular sex that makes me stress about our relationship because I feel like we are less close the less we do it
I have an appointment for some counselling coming up, I am praying it helps
I also wanted to know what else people take for anxiety and if anyone has found anything that helps. I feel like I am going mad. sorry this is long x