CBT is shite and a waste of money

[Tisgrand]

Wow I feel so much better for getting that off my chest!

I've been seeing a CBT therapist privately, 4 sessions so far. She was recommended by my gp, is highly qualified and highly regarded in her field. I'm attending because of anxiety following a road traffic accident, however I have also suffered from depression for years and do take medication for that.

At my first session we discussed why I was there (mainly to try to conquer my anxiety but also to try to address the depression) and she told me that I was going to feel so wonderful after the third session that I'd "feel like throwing my tablets away" although she said she wouldn't recommend that. So I felt really hopeful after that first session.

But at each session since then she seems to do a lot of talking - I had assumed that there would be a lot of probing - I had actually told her that I hate talking about myself as I always start to cry. But actually, I haven't cried at all and I really don't feel that anything is being addressed in depth.

I actually feel condescended to, with comments such as "aren't you great to take such good care of yourself" and "its great that you have good friendships when you could have just given up and taken to your bed"! Then she gives me a "positive affirmation" for the week and some little exercises, like listening to music - I told her that I do listen to the radio but she told me to "really listen". I feel that this is all very obvious and a bit childish, the kind of stuff I've read about myself over the years (at much less cost). At £90 per session I somehow expected more, if you know what I mean. Well I'm not sure I know what I mean myself, but I certainly haven't felt remotely like throwing my tablets away so far!

So has anyone any thoughts, has anyone had better experiences of CBT or should I try some other form of therapy? So far I've spent £360 on sessions, my next session is next Monday but I'm sorely tempted to just cancel and forget about it. So disappointed though, at the very least I as hoping to be able to sleep better instead of posting here at almost 3am!

I am an REBT therapist (which was the first developed CBT and is broadly similar to the CBT used in the NHS). I work in IAPT as a high intensity therapist and privately. Ultimately the success of therapy is the unique bond formed between client and therapist and I think this is true of any therapeutic approach. CBT should be collaborative so I would be somewhat wary of a therapist who did all the talking and did not approach his or her questions in a Socratic way. Equally, I wonder about a therapist who makes 'cure' type promises and predictions such as 'you'll feel wonderful' as someone who is struggling with their mood is going to feel worse if they don't 'achieve' this. If you're paying £90 a session my guess is you're in London or other similarly high cost area, if you're not then I would expect to pay £50-£75/80 per session. My advice is shop around and have a look at the CBT register for accredited CBT or REBT therapists. As for CBT as an approach; as someone else said, it's horses for courses. CBT has a high profile at the moment because there is a strong evidence base for its effectiveness (at least in the short term, its long term effectiveness is a whole other discussion). In IAPT I would say people are not getting CBT in its true form and there isn't a therapy in the world that can be truly helpful if 6-8 sessions. It's frustrating to have a client in front of me with PTSD who, had they have been referred two year ago, I could have seen for up to 20 session, but who I now have to try and help in 8 sessions or less because the money for the services is being sliced away. It's not the CBT that's necessarily no good, it's the system. As for private practice, it's a bit of a minefield and there are people out there claiming all sorts of expertise they don't have so definitely refer to the BABCP or AREBT (both on the CBT register) for accredited therapists who have been through training to minimum MSc level. You might find REBT more helpful as it's (I think) better for depression and less bound up in behavioural exercises from the off. Sorry, droned on a bit here ... Really hope you find the right support for you.

Why are some people so arrogant. There's someone telling the OP she has no right to say CBT is "shite and a waste of money" - I think there is free expression on MN so long as we don't break the talk guidelines. The OP specifically said that she felt better after making that comment, and if it helps, don't knock it.

Thank you youOKhun for that very interesting and information post. I hope you will be able to post again on the MH threads, as we're very short of professionals. Not sure about your nickname though!! It's a FB thing isn't it, or text maybe!

NanaNina thank you. Yes, it's an FB thing ;)

They're now suggesting we get it instead of HRT. Fine if it is offered as an alternative for those who want it, though it's far more expensive than HRT for the NHS and it should be made clear that it won't do anything for the physical symptoms or long term risks of not taking HRT, but I hope nobody it told that's their only choice, because clearly it doesn't work for some people at all even for purely mental issues, and it's also clear that some of those offering the therapy are pretty useless as well. https://www.theguardian.com/society/2023/dec/11/new-menopause-therapy-hrt-guidance-will-harm-womens-health-say-campaigners

I'm also in the 'CBT is shite' camp. I had 9 sessions, my therapist spoke A LOT. I can do all the exercises until I'm blue in the face but they didn't help and I really tried.

It just doesn't suit some people and that's okay.

As for getting CBT instead of HRT. The only way they'll be getting my HRT off me is out of my cold dead hand...

Zombie thread

Not a zombie thread at all, just one that has become more relevant because of recent news.

BlueMongoose it is a thread from 2016, it's a zombie thread alright!

You are posting about HRT and CBT which would be way more sensible as a new thread I think and possibly even in the Menopause topic.