I'll keep this simple
Had a DC with a man from a brief fling
From day 1 he's had NC - his total choice
BUT .... Over the last 2.5 years he's momentarily "appeared" at various points, can go months & months of NC then contact out the blue.
He clicks his fingers off I go running (I am a massive mug as this guy is horrendous) I don't even want him - but he plays me like a fiddle, doesn't show any interest in DC, fine, I've set that expectation for myself.
He pays financially
Here is my question or just plain advice
This man makes me feel worthless, a piece of shit & ashamed. He is sadistic & morally wrong. My self esteem is at rock fucking bottom.
I want him out of my head, I want to erase him from my brain.
Help me, help! I have deleted his number (Jesus how 21st century!)
The door will always be open for DC as that's not my decision to make, I don't want DC to ever blame me. But Man does NOT want anything to do with DC.
It's like I put myself through self harm, I see him, then physically feel sick for days even weeks after. I can't go on.