I don't feel suicidal, I just want to sleep until it all goes away.

[YesAnastasia]

I have stopped taking my antidepressants. it's been bout 3/4 weeks now. They obliterated my sex drive.

I'm struggling to say the least. I've had 2 (quite scary) emotional meltdowns, one at DS's school and various other symptoms I'm not dealing too well with.

Today I'm sat in bed while the DC are swimming with DH just crying while the house is disgusting. While I lie here I honestly feel like hurting myself, like banging my head again something or digging my nails into my skin etc (not suicide just pain) I've never had this before.

I love my life & my family & at the moment understand that this self hatred is temporary so I don't want to end my life - I just don't want to be in it or feel it at the moment. I so badly want to sleep until I feel better, until it's over. Valium is not helping.

What can I do right now? Obviously I'd love long term advice but right now, how can I stop feeling like knocking myself out on the door frame? I've lost it haven't I?

I'm wondering if you reduced your meds very gradually and with oversight from a GP. If you reduced them quickly you could be having withdrawal symptoms. Sounds like you need to go back on them - could you go back to the GP and explain what's happening. I know the torment of depression and to be honest I know ADs obliterate your sex drive, but surely this is worse than having your libido back.

You haven't "lost it" - you're suffering withdrawal symptoms I think which are very scary. Please see your GP asap.

Thank you NanaNina you are very kind to reply. It was exactly what you said. I started to take my ADs again because it was getting so bad (not to mention brain zaps) and my doctor has straight switched me to something else - seems ok so far. We'll see. Anyway, thanks again.