Hi everyone
I didn't know whether to post this here or in pregnancy, but either way I think I need a bit of perspective.
I've been battling emetophobia for 15 years and in the last 3, i've come so so far. I have two young step children who have taught me to deal with other people being sick and my other half had food poisoning and I was actually able to look after him - 5 years ago that would have been unthinkable. I still hate being sick, but I can cope with it a lot better than i've ever been able to before. That was until I got pregnant.
I'm 7 weeks and this week morning nausea has started. I haven't actually been sick yet. But it's almost paralysing me with fear when leaving the house. I can cope with it when i'm home - it's not even that bad - but I just cannot leave the house. I feel like such a fraud having to call in to work and pretend it's worse than it is because I can't say 'I'm feeling a bit sick so now I can't go anywhere for the day'. I thought i'd cope a lot better than this, I feel so pathetic. The only thing I can think of is that with morning sickness, you can't control it and you have no idea when it's going to happen and you have no idea how long you'll feel that way...at least if you've got a bug, you can predict how long it's going last. So that might be what's making me hide out in my house?
I've had CBT and NLP numerous times and they've never helped. I feel like I got myself out of the hole I was in myself, but i'm so annoyed and worried at the moment. I just feel like an idiot and totally pathetic, but like for the next few weeks, this might just be the way it is. Is that even acceptable though? This just doesn't feel like an acceptable reason to not go to work.