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Original poster

Think i need help

22 replies

corrina28 · 12/01/2007 21:15

Hi all, havent been around for a while things havent been good. I really lost the plot New year eve and tried to top my self, but just couldnt bring myself to do it, kept thinking what if ds1 find me, thats not fair on him. Have been on AD on and off for 18 months i tend to take them for a while and then convince myself that i'm ok and that i dont have to take them anymore, and then i am back to square one.

Now i really dont know where to turn. For starters if it tell the doctor what happened NYE i'm scared they will take my boys away or even that they will take me away (not sure if that is a good or bad thing at the moment) Cant talk to my parents about i, my mum believes that depression is all in your head and that you just have to pull your self together.

Hope i havent bored everyone silly.

TIA

OP posts:
lulumama · 12/01/2007 21:19

your children will not be taken away

i can say that categorically, after being hospitalised with severe PND..it was never ever an issue..ever

your GP is there to help you

you might need different & higher dosage ADs, and intensive help right now , especially if you are suicidal

if you feel you are still in danger of taking your life or hurting yourself, get to a&e immediately, where there will be access to a psychiatrist and they can put you in touch with the mental health crisis team.

please keep talking here..there will be so much support

asleep · 12/01/2007 21:25

talk to your GP, they might speed up seeing a counselor or psychiatrist. this happened with DP after he ODed. he saw a psychiatrist within a few days.
take care {hug}

Original poster
corrina28 · 12/01/2007 21:32

when i have been to see the doctor in the past i go thru it all in my head before i get there and then once i'm there i just breakdown and cant say anything, just feel like i am wasting their time.

OP posts:
docket · 12/01/2007 21:37

You definitely won't be wasting your doctor's time. Can you write things down and take with you? Take care.

lulumama · 12/01/2007 21:37

definitely write it down or take a friend with you if you can

Paddlechick666 · 12/01/2007 21:40

hi corrina

so sorry to hear you're having a hard time at the moment. NY must've been terrible for you.

i know it's hard seeing your GP, i feel similar in that we're new at the surgery and i don't feel any connection there and find it hard to express myself.

i do the whole scenario thing in my head too but it never comes out the way i've rehearsed!

actually i think lots of people do that.

some advice i saw here recently was to write how you're feeling down and use that to prompt yourself when you're there.

also, you could print this thread off and show your doctor.

my dh is suffering severe depression - whole OTHER story - occasionally he's thought he's been okay without the meds but these things need to be monitored. when you start to feel better it's just as important to stay on the meds till you're regulated coming off them.

good luck, keep posting on here, i find it a massive support not to mention a source of humour that i sorely need sometimes.

take care of yourself, your gp is there for your care and you are not wasting their time.

Original poster
corrina28 · 12/01/2007 22:04

i'm just now at the stage where i feel like its never gonna go away except if i make it IYKWIM. I really dont wanna miss my boys growing up but just cant see a way out.

OP posts:
lulumama · 12/01/2007 22:05

you must ask for urgent help..you will be taken seriously and your children won;t get taken away

mamama · 13/01/2007 00:55

I can only echo what the others have said. Please, talk to your gp. The boys won't be taken away...

And, like lulumama said, if you feel that you might hurt yourself, please go to A&E - there are people who can help you and your family get through this.

colditz · 13/01/2007 01:20

You must must must go to the doctors sweetheart, please. I have felt the way you are feeling now, I felt like this this time last year, and I went to the doctors, and he was brilliant. Print this thread off, show the doctor, and you will get the help you need.

Please don't feel weak, depression is an ILLNESS, and you need treatment for it. You would go if you had measles, and you need rto go for depression. Clinical depression is something that really needs to be medicted, it is chemical imbalance in the brain. Some people do think it is all in your head, just like some people think Autism is all bad parenting. They are wrong. Please check back here tomorrow, to let us know you are ok

wurlywurly · 13/01/2007 15:49

corrina email me if you want to chat hun. xx

mamama · 13/01/2007 18:31

Corrina, how are you?

Original poster
corrina28 · 13/01/2007 23:26

feel constantly on edge, dh keeps asking what he can do to help, and i have told him i just dont know how to relax anymore, feel like i'm constantly battling something, whether its money or housework or just getting ds1 to school.

Gonna ring the doctors monday and see when they can fit me (not holding my breath tho could be a couple of weeks). Just trying to find things to look forward to to see if it will take my mind off it at all.

Thanks for the concern.
XXX

OP posts:
colditz · 13/01/2007 23:40

No, don't get them to fit you in, ring them first thing and say you need to be seen TODAY, it is an EMERGANCY and you nd NOT prepred to discuss the detaails with non medically trained staff. Keep insisting. If they fob you off, turn up, and just sit there until you are seen.

You must tell them youi need to be seen today, or they will try to fob you wth 4 months next tuesday. And it's not lie. You do need to be seen today. This must be sorted out. You are poorly.

colditz · 13/01/2007 23:40

Can your dh take some time off work?

colditz · 13/01/2007 23:41

Plan your day right down to what's for each meal. That way, when the time comes, you won't have to panic about making a decision, as it's already made.

colditz · 13/01/2007 23:42

Plan your day right down to what's for each meal. That way, when the time comes, you won't have to panic about making a decision, as it's already made.

mamama · 14/01/2007 00:54

Colditz has lots of fab advice - she's absolutely right, insist on an appointment on Monday. And planning is a great idea too - it helps to stop the panic, fill your day & also keeps you occupied for a bit while you do the planning!

Can you let DH help with the housework or money worries?

Please let us know how you get on. We'll be checking back to see how you are.

Tale Care x

CillaField · 14/01/2007 21:09

You must speak to your GP or Health Visitor. What you are feeling is not unique - I have felt it myself and I also went through a phase of wishing I no longer existed. It will pass but only if you speak to people. I talked to anyone and everyone about my PND and, along with AD's I came through it to such an extent that I now can't believe I was that person. It took me six months but it did happen. It's hell for a while but you WILL get better. Believe that it will happen and take each day, each hour at a time. Have a walk each day, try a dance class or something different, read an uplifting book, draw a picture...every step will take you out of the forest you are now lost in.

furcoatandnoknickers · 14/01/2007 23:24

good luck corrina28 with the docs tom. Really sort it out force them to see you. You have a right to demand an appt.- need must. Have u got your notes on how you feel? Put them in bag NOW. Sleep tight xx

mamama · 15/01/2007 15:28

Corrina, please let us know how you are... x

furcoatandnoknickers · 15/01/2007 17:16

yep corrina, hope you managed to see someone? Thinking of youxx

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