Asking for drugs.....

[GoldilocksAndTheThreePears]

I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis a few years back. Its getting worse and worse and right now I can't work, I struggle to do normal things like get dressed even. Struggle to stand long enough to shower. And I'm depressed. I've always felt 'low', just a thing where if I'm not working, like weekends and evenings, I sit by myself and do not much. hard to explain.

Lost my job 18 month or so ago (unrelated to health, I was a nanny and the mum lost her job so decided to be a SAHM). since thn i havent worked and my health and mental health are just getting worse and worse. I struggle to get up because I havnet slept due to pain and due to just the way my mind is. I struggle to eat because the act of opening the fridge door is very painful, and because I just cant see the point, or ive forgotten, or i just dont feel i deserve. i guess i see the two things wrong with me as being equal and i just dont know what to do.

i saw a GP and said i was feeling depressed but im not sure if they got it as i was sitting there crying as i was mid flare-up in my wrist. they sent me to councelling but it isnt enough, im so low. i forget my drugs. i sit and stare for hours. i just want to feel human and start working harder on getitng past my physical stuff but im struggling so much!

i dont have anyone to talk to at all, im alone. i just wonder if anti depressants are a thing. like if its worth me asking for them. do they work? is it worth me wasting a gp time? im just at the end and i dont know what to do, any advice welcome

Hey goldilocks - you're not wasting the gp's time. IMHO you should def go back and talk through how you're feeling. If you're not up to ( either physically of mentally) getting to the surgery could you have a phone consultation? Do you have someone who is helping to look after you? Could you try complan type drinks or slim fast to get something into you rather than eating nothing. Thinking of you. Things will get better.

hi thanks for the reply.

i know ill be able to go because if i book monday, ill have a week to prepare, sort out clothing, i can take the day before and try to shower or wash. washing hair is pretty tough as i cant raise my arms but i try.

i dont have anyone at all. its been over a year since i spoke to anyone outside of appointments. even shopping is self service.

im morbidly obese so missing a few days food wont harm me but it means i dont take my pills. i do have some slimming shakes but they are a pain to make. well not so much to make but to wash up after, im short and standing long enough to wash up takes so much out of me, and my hands ache for days. im a mess!

i just want to be a human again. trying to sort benefits just so i can keep my home but im pretty sure i wont get them

Hi goldilocks - you have the mums net family . What about dry shampoo for your hair- I often use it if I'm not feeling up to washing my hair. You still need to take your tabs tho so could you just drink milk in paper cups then there's no hassles washing up. Have you family or friends that don't live locally you could phone/ face time? Xx

unfortunately i dont have any friends, my family are in cornwall so many miles. i speak every so often. i tend not to buy anything that can go off, as some days i just cant open bottles/packets so waste the money. and carrying liquids from the shops is so tough. i bought a loaf of bread today so thats the next few days sorted, i can fold the bag under itself and not worry about opening. never tried dry shampoo, if its something i can do laying down it may be good. its slightly easier to raise my arms laying down as i can 'creep' them upwards but its still painful and takes a long time to get over. im broken! i just want a hint of something, anything, good on the horizon

Hi goldilocks. Def try the dry shampoo- you can use it sitting/ laying- just squirts out like spray deodorant. Could you get your shopping delivered? Just trying to think of things that would make it physically easier for you although getting out to the shops would help you to see/ talk to people. If your mobility is poor could you ask your gp for some support with a carer? Just thinking that may help you to feel less low.