Long-time lurker but first-time poster here...I've got a lot out of reading these boards so hoping posting will help too.
I basically want advice on how to 'normalise' my relationship with food. Like a lot of people, I've had a messed-up view of it for as long as I can remember, really (chubby child, mother who struggles with her own weight issues and was always terrified of me being fat etc) which led to a period of intense restriction in my mid-teens. Weight dropped dramatically, I calorie counted everything, family and friends were concerned, periods stopped but when I went to the dr (about the periods) nothing happened as I was never technically 'underweight'. I've always been heavy for my size (according to other people, not just me!) and I think that is maybe part of my problem.
Anyway, a couple of years later binge eating started in earnest and since then I've been stuck in a binge / purge / binge cycle that I want to get out of. I'm a tiny bit overweight but not massive and nobody knows about it except my dr. It impacts on my life and stops me doing things and I'm sure it is a key factor in my depression. A few months ago I plucked up the courage to go to the dr about feeling low and got a referral to the MH service, had an initial assessment and opened up about my eating and I have an assessment with the eating disorders unit coming up so hoping CBT or something will help.
I guess what I'm asking is: has anyone managed to overcome this, really and truly? If so, how did you do it? I know it takes willpower and sometimes I feel like I've got a grip on it but then I slip up and it's always 'tomorrow'. I'm sick of waiting for 'tomorrow', I want 'today' back! Thanks for reading.