9 years on and still feel like this

[tevion]

I went thorugh a early menopause 9 years ago whilst I was trying to conceive my second dc I went to a fertility clinic which was useless dp was unsupportive at the time.
I cant get over it cant even look at families with more than one child or pregnant women as I feel so cheated.
my ds is now 15 and I am not enjoying this time in his life he is no company never wants to come anywhere I miss days out to zoos farms etc and feel unneeded and lonely whilst relatives in the family are having babies and I feel like running away.

That's tough, tevion, and I can both sympathise and empathise. How is your relationship with your partner now? Do you ever get to talk about this? And what else do you have going on in your life? Was there a time when your son was younger that you were so immersed in family life that you didn't really think so much about it, but now you have more time on your hands, so it's coming to the forefront? Does this interfere with your ability to go about your normal life - are you, for example, avoiding friends and family?

Sorry, that's a lot of questions and, of course, you don't have to answer a single one if you don't want to. But working out the answers to them might help you assess what, if anything, you want to do. I guess what it boils down too is do you think you just need some time to grieve about this, or might you need some professional help to do that?