In hospital. Anyone around to distract me?

[memememe94]

I'm a regular-ish poster on here but had to name change as I outed myself on another part of the forum (Im not bothered about that here--I can give a hint that I was concerned about scissors).

Anyway, I'm back in hospital again. I've had enough. I feel that my blood is bad. It's boiling through my veins. It's frying my mind and the badness is leaching throughout my body.
It hurts. Physically. It really hurts.
I just can't get my head around the idea that this is part of the bipolar. I can feel messages being sent to me. It's all part of being colonised by the badness.
I'm stuck in my hospital room with my thoughts. No way out.

Sorry to be so negative. I feel like I'm in hell.

I don't get tough love. I want nice nurturing love thank you very much! Is your room warm? You could do the hot yoga the celebrities do.

Bikram isn't it?
I had a lovely gong bath once. True fact. Kundalini yoga!

I've had a mega meltdown. Sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. Told the nurse I want to be dead. It's hopeless. And sobbed some more.

Then I got up and did some yoga. I feel so much better. My head is slower. They should prescribe yoga instead of lorazepam

I remember teaching someone sun salutations in the corridor of hospital over the Christmas period. Something different for them to write on their bits of paper Kundalini. That would go down well I imagine

Hope things get better for you soon xx

I feel for you. I've only been out of hospital a couple of weeks after a bipolar relapse and my first week in was hell on earth. I don't think it helped at all, but at the time I was filled with a ball of evil energy that I thought I needed to cut out of myself, so really, it was probably the right place to be.

Anything you need? Drop me a PM. I'll be around here to talk on and off as well.

I fucking hate it in here. My quetiapine was raised before i came in but nobody documented it so I'm
sat here when I could be at home on the higher dose and have it kicking in.
Fuck. I'll be trying to get out of here first thing in Monday morning.

How are you meme?

How's the wonky yoga going?
Sorry to hear you're in hospital again, that sucks. Glad you've got your iPad and good ol mumsnet.

Thanks for asking. I'm doing better. I am at home on pass until Sunday. Then I will see about whether to be discharged to the crisis team on Monday. I'm hoping I'll be OK--just have to see how today goes.

It sounds like you're doing well meme. Enjoy your time at home with your family. I've recently been diagnosed with bipolar too, it sucks doesn't it?

Yep, bipolar sucks big-time. I had a couple of days at home, which was fine. Although I found my limit was a couple of days before it all got too much & I went back in for a little bit. I'm home again until Wednesay evening. I'm hoping that the meds increase will have started to kick in by then. It takes so bloody long for things to improve....