Want to run away

[peppajay]

I am feeling really low at the moment. My son has ASD and i get no help with him as no one can cope with him. My hubby refuses to do anything with me and the kids due to sons behaviour. I found the school holidays really tough coz I literally have no break and get no time to myself. I then can't sleep as get no wind down time. I resent my husband for not helping me out and never having the kids I can't bear to be close to him and sex with him repulses me so I try to avoid it and this causing further issues. I am snappy at home all the time and resent my kids and husband for not letting me be me. I want to get fit and go running or swimming but I have no one to leave the kids with. Where ever I go accept for work ( my saviour) they are with me. I feel so close to running away and staying in a hotel and having a week doing what I want for once. When I am thinking rationally I couldn't do it as my kids wouldn't cope if if I left them with their dad but when I am feeling so stressed I just feel like running and I don't know what to do!! I have no one in real life I can really talk to as everyone is busy with their own lives. :0 (

You need a real partner right now. Not someone who only takes part in family life when it's easy

You probably have to lay down the rules. Claim at least one evening for yourself. Join a club or something else that ties you to going at a specific time. Go early and leave late. That way you get time alone too

Hope things work out

That is not going to happen I can't stand up for what i want in have no confidence or inclination to do anything about it. I am mentally exhausted. I had an awful nights sleep aa feel so het up and angry I can't relax in my own home!!

You must find help and support elsewhere if you can't depend on your husband. Is there a local support group for parents of children with special needs? Or a helpline?

When we get a full diagnosis I think I may be able to access support groups etc. I just want to be me again I hate every minute i spend in the house. I can feel the walls closing in on me and crushing me. I don't stop from the moment I get up till about 1030 as I have to cook for kids first then bed time stuff and then cook for me and DH as he works till 8pm. By the time I sit down of an evening i am shattered and I have no time to wind down. I then fall into bed exhausted and cant sleep due to palpitations and the feeling of extreme nausea. I want a break from everything so desperately-I shouldn't feel like this I am a strong person who holds everything together for everyone else- I don't do emotion but feel like if something doesn't change soon (and it isn't) I am going to lose it and I don't know what to do xx

It's very difficult to advise. I totally understand that you need a break. Will your husband truly not help you make time for yourself? Doesn't he see that it would benefit not only you but the whole family?

Have you spoken to your doctor about your mental health? You may need short term medication for depression or anxiety

I saw my GP today and she prescribed me antidepressants and sleeping tablets and also referred me for counselling. After reading up about antidepressants and their side affects I am really scared to take them now and want to try and cope until I get some counselling. Is that a bad thing??

peppa Your situation sounds really tough. You obv know your dp should step up and help. I would take the antidepressants as the gp thinks you need them, but it won't help the cause of the problem. Can you pay someone to look after ds for a couple of hours a weeks so you can get some time to yourself?