Why won't anyone take me seriously?

[Meelius]

Been sinking into some kind of depression for a couple of years now, had a number of major traumas happen in fairly quick succession, and haven't dealt with each one, as a result it's all built up and major depression kicked in when DS was about 7 months. Been seeing HV and counsellor, but all they seemed to do was tell me how much more crap their lives were. I am painfully aware that other people have far worse issues to deal with, but everyone's own issues are worse than other peoples, because it's them who have to live through it. Besides, I thought it was pretty unprofessional of them to be telling me about their problems when they're supposed to be helping me - or is that just selfish? Not very good at asking for help, so delayed seeing GP, when I finally did I was desperate and wanted ADs as I couldn't see another way. She told me she couldn't give me anything whilst BF, and anyway I didn't need to BF a 9-month old baby! She also said I look like I comfort eat, so wouldn't prescribe ADs as they increase your appetite. (I could do with loosing a couple of stone, but I'm not exactly huge!). So I went to another GP, and he gave me citalopram without even asking what was wrong. I've been on them 4 weeks and feel worse than ever. Work are loosing patience with me, and now I'm worried I may loose my job aswell. How can I get anyone to help me? It was a huge step for me to ask for help, and I only did it for the sake of sake of DS. I'm beginning to wish I hadn't bothered and carried on pretending everything's OK. Sorry for long post.

Oh Meelius

That is awful treatment by healthcare professionals.

There is absolutely NO reason why you cant take Some AD's whilst b/feeding. I am (still) taking Sertraline and have been since DS was 7 months, he is now 20 months and I am still b/feeding him too.

As for "not needing to bf a 9 month old". That is absolutely shocking and unforgiveable. (Although I wonder whether they felt that in the scheme of things - ie your health and wellbeing over his perhaps?)

You are not a burden at all. You deserve the best and appropriate care available. It can take about 2 weeks for AD's to start working - I would suggest if the Citalipram is not working for you, then you should go back to your GP and get the dose upped (which I did at one point) or the medication changed. Sertraline is perfectly fine - maybe you could suggest this?

Hang on in there honey, things will get better. Let me just take some of your points one by one...

1. ADs generally take 6-8 weeks before you notice a difference, so don't stop taking them. You can feel worse before you feel better so don't panic. What dose are you on?
2. HV and counsellor should NOT be telling you about their problems. It is incredibly unprofessional of them and no you are not being selfish. Was the counsellor private or on the NHS? You have the right to see someone else, someone that you trust and can work with.
3. I believe there are some ADs that you can have whilst BF. However, I'm not an expert.
4. Making comments about comfort eating is just deeply unhelpful and if you can, you should ignore them.

You have done the right thing about trying to get some help. It is just so sad that you've not met with the right response. Do you have a partner, friends or family who can support you? What work do you do? Can you tell anyone there that you are not well? Depression is an illness just like pneumonia, and if you are very low you can be signed off legitimately. If you feel very ropey, go back to see a GP you trust and can talk to.

There are loads of us on MN who battle with depression to varying degrees, and are on a huge range of different ADs so you are absolutely not alone, and turn to us whenever you feel down.

Big hugs

x post with VVV

Keep on with the ad's - some people do feel a bit worse before they begin to feel better.

Ask your counsellor about cognitive behavioural therapy - this will help you regognise the danger signs, ask for help earlier and also manage your symptoms better.

Be aware you are in the middle of a depressive episode and this will make you look at others less charitably, that's what depression does. I've no real idea if what you describe is your HV and counsellor just trying to get you to think about someting else but yourself and how you are feeling. Depression makes you very self centred and needy too and getting out of that cycle is very important.

What you seem to be doing is pushing everything as it's not happeing quick enough - but the more you push and make a fuss the more stressed you become. Try to take a step back and relax as much as possible. Give the tablets time to work and try not to panic. You are in a very good position, you have a counsellor and are on ad's - the situation would be mush worse if you didn;t have these resources - but they don't work miracles.

You say your depression has been growing for two years - you can't just shake that off and you will have fallen into some very bad, indulgent habits during that time which will need to be challenged.

You are doing the right thing - never forget is is much easier to give up trying and simply be depressed, but that that will have negative effects on all your relationships, especially with your son. You can do this but it will take a lot of effort. Don't give up though.

Thanks for the support, was starting to think it was just the effect I have on people! DS is now 11 months and I have since stopped BF, I am absoluted gutted and really regret the decision, but felt (at the time) it was in both our best interests to do so, but I really miss it. I have a DH, but he finds it very hard to understand, it must be tough for him too, as for friends, don't really have any close ones, thought I did, I have only confided in 2 people what is going on in my life, and they have both been avoiding me since - not calling, ignoring texts etc, I guess they just don't know what to say. I have no support network, and feel very alone, which is probably why things have got so bad, because I have nobody to let off steam to. Have been signed off work for a couple of months now, but feel like I'm beeing forced to go back, when I'm actually feeling worse instead of better. There are only 2 GPs at my practice, and I've seen them both, can't decide which one I'd rather see!

Oh Meelius, you poor poor thing.

Sometimes us 'copers' in life really do have to go on and on before people take us seriously. They see us as people who do so well are really strong so cant possibly feel that bad. I know exactly what you are talking about and share some of your feelings. But please dont give up asking for help. You have taken a big step in asking for help already. And please dont keep on pretending things are okay when they arent. That wont help at all. It takes a lot to finally admit we need help but once you have started it does get easier, I promise.

Dont give up, please dont. Here is my action plan for you:

1. keep on with the ADs. They take at least 6 weeks before you notice any difference. And rememebr that your monthly cycle will affect how you feel, so at times you may feel worse than others. IF after 6 weeks you notice no difference whatsoever, then please go back to the GP as it may be the wrong Ad for you.

2. DONT worry about the weight issue just yet. Concentrate on one thing at a time. Just try to be as sensible about food as you can. when you are feeling stronger you can do something about it if you want to then.

3)If you are finding work a real struggle, maybe you need some time off? You can get a self certificate from the GP for a week, or if you need longer get a GP appt and ask for a certificate. Tell him/her that things have been piling up and you are drained and need a break.

4. Dont compare other peoples 'troubles' with your own. We all react and deal with circumstances in a different way. What one of us finds easy to deal with another may not be able to cope with at all.I know that is so easy to say, but please try not to worry about what others have said. I suspect the HV/counsellor were possibly trying to show some empathy with you, rather than make you feel bad.

5. keep talking to people (including on mn). I find I feel worse when I have been away from people for a while, ie not in contact in rl or on the internet. The thing is though that when we feel bad we often WANT to hide away from people. But in my experience that is the worst thing to do. Sometimes I lieterally have to force myself not to hide under the duvet. It is important to find a place (eg MN), or some friends, with whom you can be honest and open with. Where you wont be pretending or putting on a mask.

Oh dear I hope I havent said too much. But I hope some of this has been helpful.... (I started writing thisd post a LONG while ago, so havent seen if you have added anything else. I can only see the OP atm!)

oops all these posts x with mine . I got distracted. Hope I havent doubled up on advice etc...

Need to go back to GP this week if I am to continue taking ADs as have run out. But don't really know what to say to them that I haven't already.

what mg did he prescribe? 10mg or 20mg?

Was 20mg