Depression and anxiety support thread

[FlowersAndShit]

Thought I'd start a thread for those of us suffering with depression and/or anxiety. I'm currently trying to wean myself off Sertraline, and I'm struggling a bit. My meds stopped working as well as they used to about 4 months ago, so I've decided to wean myself off them. I'm trying to be strong, but still having waves of panic and despair. I'm hoping these are just withdrawals and not the 'real me'.

Hi, can I join in?

I was diagnosed with depression in September and ended up having five months off work 😱. It seemed to take a really long time to find anything that worked for me - I tried citalopram and sertraline and I'm now on venlafaxine with a small dose of sertraline. I went back to work about a month ago and I'm really really struggling. The self-hatred is taking control again. I just want to be dead. Those around me don't deserve to have me inflicted on them. I can't do anything as my husband is at a crucial point career wise and if I'm going to leave my children with him he has to be able to earn money to look after them. So I'm carrying on but it's so hard.

Hey getting there... Well done for going back to work, that's a huge step. Take care of yourself and try and rest. Can you do a hobby that would take your mind of something's? I've started knitting - not that glam for a 36 year old but it helps. Also I've got a new pillow with a speaker in it so I can listen to relaxing music at night. Have you spoken to the people at mind or your gp- about your changes in feelings? Thinking of you xxxx

Slowly please don't ever think the world would be better off without you. You are incredibly strong - you're a mother & wife who holds down a job. If everything is getting to much, vent on here or speak to your GP. Depression is nothing to be ashamed of.

Lots of handholding & unmumsnetty hugs xx

Slowly, carrying on shows what a selfless and caring person you are.

feeling so unloved and alone this morning. the world is full of people who have friends, lovers, people who care yet if I died I'd have nobody at my funeral.

Sending you a 💐 and hug- it will get better - keep thinking that. Xx

Thanks for the kind thoughts, they do help. I do have a CPN who I could ring but all she would say is that "no one said it was going to be easy, give it time". So I'm just trying to keep myself going.

titanium we would care even if we weren't there. Keep on keeping on

It is sad that this is so common. Mine started after surgery 18 months ago, at which time I became suicidal. I have been on Prothiaden ever since - one of the older ant-ds. I still get flare-ups and hate it all so very much. OH has Parkinsons Disease so life is not a bed of roses.

I notice that people seem desperate not to take medication, and if they do to get off it as fast as possible. I think it is important to recognise how helpful they can be and not feel bad about taking them.

the thing is I keep hoping it will get better but it just doesn't happen, just goes from one bad thing to the next.

OP sorry I killed your thread. I must stop posting, I'm getting a name as the phantom thread killer of London Town!

How is everyone today? I'm clinging on by my fingertips to work. Early morning waking, nightmares and intrusive images are back.

(There you go titanium, if it dies it was me!)

GettingThereSlowly No, I think you'll find the thread dies with me...
I understand the early morning waking (although i'm in more a disturbed sleep all night phase atm). When it happens to me I ty to remind myself that the next best thing to sleep is lying there, eyes closed, resting. Is there any way you could book a day or two off work and use the extra time to do exactly what you want? (lie in bed with a good book?) Actually I don't know if the book thing would help with lying awake early morning stuff?

mishaps I think the thing is with medication is it's so hit-and-miss. Not like a simple infection = antibiotics type thing. So there is a concern it'll just be side-effects and so make the already intolerable seem even worse.

It is interesting you say yours started after surgery. There seems to be a link between depression and immune system. I'm very much a believer in psychosocial causes of depression (I think they are very overlooked in the current system especially), but the apparent link between immune system and depression has converted me a bit... I hope you find some relief soon.

Also just a reminder to everyone about vitamin D deficiency... can be very depleted by this time of year, after 6 months unable to make any cos the sun is too far away...

TitaniumSpider the thing is I keep hoping it will get better but it just doesn't happen, just goes from one bad thing to the next.
I know this feeling. I don't know what to say that could help, but I do understand. I try to remember that others have felt like this and it got better for them, so cling on to that hope. It's so hard though, the feeling of "running just to stand still".

Oncethere :) at the competition.

Hey. I've posted on here before. Was back at work all going well but therapy made me remember 2 years of teenage sexual abuse and I can't cope with the self hated and disgust right now that I didn't stop it. I've been self medicating with alcohol but been sent from work for reeking of booze - another reason to be disgusted with myself. Not at work so went for a morning walk to sit by the river and just thinking how easy it would be to slip in and wait for the cold to take me. I feel so apathetic about life unless I'm making myself have fun. And I can't tell anyone because they've already seen me through one breakdown this year. I promised myself I had 6 months to get better and I'm not. On citalopram already and got an appt with a different doctor at 9. What the hell do I say? I'm so ashamed.

Hi

Can I please join you?

I experienced my first panic attack about 8 years ago. I've never felt anything like it. I genuinely thought I was dying. Mum called an ambulance, I couldn't move because my whole body was shaking, I couldn't talk because my breathing was so out of control.

Since then I have episodes that come and go. I find I have a pattern which usually starts with an unexpected panic attack, followed by a period of panicking about the panic attacks coming back. It sounds wrong typing it but I hope.you get my gist.

My trigger is always pain.

In January I experienced loads of chest and back pain for which I could find no explanation. I put it down to a pulled muscle.

Around a month ago the pain was still excruciating and the anxiety returned big time.

I went to the doctors who started me on pregabalin. She said it would treat the pain and the anxiety at the same time.

A week later I was in hospital with racing heart and palpitations. They did ecg, bloods and a chest x ray. They assured me I was OK and palpitations were probably a side effect of the pregabalin.

I'm still in pain. I have to be so careful as even lifting a bottle of water can bring the pain back and it freaks me out that nobody seems worried why I'm hurting so much.

The doctor says it's GAD. The anxiety means I'm super aware of my body so feel things more... so the anxiety makes the pain feel worse. The anxiety makes the palpitations worse etc.

So she has told me to increase my pregabalin from just one at night to one at night and one in the morning but I'm so scared of making the palpitations worse by increasing the dose. And I'm scared of masking pain which is so unexplained. But equally I'm scared of the crippling anxiety returning.

Hello to everyone, can I please join? I've had GAD for years, but worse since I had children. Whatever is going on, whatever I do I can't escape the thought that I'm not good enough and I hate myself. I'm not a nice person really, I'm angry and jealous and controlling. Oh so controlling since I've had kids... I hate the thought that I'll pass on this sickness to my babies. I'm just so tired of trying. I NEED people to like me to feel any kind of self worth. What a loser. My mum thinks I'm weak. I have no major life trauma to justify feeling this way and I have a good life now. I'm the one people come to for advice but I've only ever told my husband and best friend how I really feel. Even the Samaritans just hung up on me!

I'm sorry that any of us are even here and send lots of love and strength to you all . I'm so sad that depression and anxiety are so common these days.

Hey Tea
You're not a weak person; you're strong. Events don't have to make us ill - our brains can just do it on their own. Yes we can have risk factors, but actually, like any other disease - it happens. It's hugely strong to be here, to tell us, to tell your husband. That's amazing strength.
You sound like an amazing woman.

Magic I hope you're feeling ok today. Not knowing which causes which, or even if they're related, must be really hard - you're being so clear to see both sides of your concerns.

For all of us.

We won't be beaten.

Hi again everyone im still struggling too off to GP again tomorrow. This bloody anxiety ruining my life. Just wish I could sleep my way through life. X

Me too!

I've had Emetophobia for a few years, and I'm still struggling. It effects my eating and my daily life. Sometimes I'm housebound especially in sickness bug season.

Hi all waves

Hello, thanks Robots. Your words mean a lot. How are you feeling today?

Realised this is week 5 of my bad spell. Focussing on the fact that I am likely to have a good spell soon. I just joined Superbetter. It's confusing but I'm sticking with it. Fairly helpful so far.

What's superbetter pl?

It's an app, I think there was a thread about it recently. There's this TED talk about it it's quite interesting. You can get it on the Play store or iStore x

Will check that app out - thanks. I've already got headspace, but have to be in the right sort of mood for it - even though it does always help me to feel a lot more at peace with myself.

Yesterday was a tough day - emotional work meeting, then a puncture followed by a long period of contemplation at the side of a major motorway. Actually, just realised that I should be really proud as didn't have any thoughts of wandering out into the road to see what would happen - that's the first day in a while that hasn't happened.

Today is going to be a Good Day. Washing on, huge list of jobs that I AM going to crack through. Then seeing my lovely parents this evening and going away with my dad for a long weekend of motor racing.

Hope you're all doing ok - sending positive vibes your way.

Can I join please?
I just started fluoxetine yesterday. Really hope it works as I don't think I've ever felt this low.
History-was diagnosed with arthritis in January and in quite a bit of pain from that.I then had a bit of a hard time of it personally, which is ongoing. I have as a result started to suffer with massive anxiety and depression.Unfortunately this coincided with me starting a new job, and as I was basically sitting crying at my desk every day I have now failed my probation, so I am unemployed for the first time in my life. Not sure what to do about any of it but figured I need to get myself better before I can make a reasonable plan...
Thankyou for this thread-feel very lonely at the moment and it's good to know that other people understand.

Hey everyone. I've only just joined mumsnet but I am almost 28weeks pregnant now and suffer from anxiety. I go to weekly anxiety therapy sessions which is great and is preparing me for what is to come. But I find that I often feel really low.
The pregnancy wasn't planned but I am in a loving and supportive relationship so there's nothing for me to worry about when it comes to support after the baby is born.
I just feel like I have lost the person I used to be and I won't be able to be myself again for a very long time. Although my boyfriend is really excited and really wonderful about everything, I know he is feeling a little bit overwhelmed about it all as well.
Is this normal? Am I overreacting?