Does your child / teen have mental health issues? Are you interesting in a long running thread to provide mutual support?

[hmcAsWas]

DD (13) has only just started developing problems this year, although I suppose there might have been signs before. I feel a bit alone and out of my depth and would like to chat about it with parents who are experiencing similar. Perhaps we can pool support and advice if there is interest?

DD appears anxious and depressed. Low mood - wants to avoid school and her normal activities and just stay home and shut the world out. I don't know if this is how anxiety and depression usually manifests itself. She is joyless and flat at the moment.

Also has anybody seen a forum for parental support anywhere else on the internet?

My 17.5 yr old son became very ill last October. Drug induced psychosis. He is high functioning Aspergers, and took to smoking weed to calm his anxiety and social problems. It's changed my life! I've lost my son ....who was....He has just started on respiridone ...small dose 0.5mg...at present he is ' laughing' a lot . He has just completed a week doing a Princes Trust course which is a major step forward. He was at College doing Maths, Further Maths and Computing, but his short term memory is do poor now, don't know if this will prove. He went missing three times, police were involved, At his worst he wore a black beanie, mask to cover his face, and ear phones, it was incredibly sad to see....my son...he was nearly sectioned x twice....Each day is a new day and my son remains unpredictable, I don't know what the future holds.. I've had to apply for ESA and PIP for him. There is very little support in RL. Let's help each other x

That's good to hear wannabe I'd love to pick your brains now and then!

smiley dd is now on 2mg of Respiridone, it's great for her aggression but doesn't seem to have any effect on her bizarre and paranoid thoughts. I suppose I have to assume she'd be much worse without it?

Dd ran away and I had to call the police too, they were great.

I have to admit I'm struggling, really struggling. Dd's dad died when dd was 10. My family try to help but I feel so alone.

Today is the first day of the Easter holidays and it's been awful. Dd has this awful habit of goading me for a reaction. I suspect it's boredom and frustration. I worry that I sometimes just can't like her, despite my love for her.

My ds has ASD/anxiety. He's at an FE college but they are being absolutely awful.
How do other people's dc's cope with education?
I am in awe of wannabestressfree's ds getting the qualifications for uni.

Dd goes to a special school, every day is a battle to get her there.

Once there she doesn't engage in any of her lessons. I think her head is so full of intrusive thoughts she has no space left for learning or anything positive.

I really regret saying I can't like dd, I adore her, but her behaviour pushes me to my very limits. I know it's not her fault but I'm a person with needs and I'm just at the end of my tether.

My son isn't as able as other youngsters on the thread so his paranoia has presented as him thinking we are saying things to him - even when we're not. And before we knew he was paranoid we'd even sit and say to each other - did I just speak? He would look at us and say 'why you say no', and we started to imagine we had said it

He also started to think that if, for e.g., we said to him sit nicely, or sleep nice, as in get comfy, that we were giving him a telling off for not sitting nicely etc. He would think he was doing something bad.

My son could never articulate the goings on in his head so its up to us to do it for him and we're happy with the DX he's got based on our observations and explanation of things.

He's now on depot injections of Haldol, plus other medications, and this week I see his professor with a view to Frontal or Temporal lobe epilepsy with aggression being investigated. Its been mentioned for a while now but something happened the other day and I was in daily contact with this professor because of the new injections and when I told him about something he said to me - Im concerned about this and we have to talk. I know he wants to talk about the epilepsy.

There's a poster here who's son presents very much like my son and Ive often thought oh, he's just like DS. But, within the last few weeks the lad has been diagnosed with the same epilepsy that is now being queried in regard to my son and Im now thinking - oh, perhaps DS is like that other lad.

It wont make any difference to the paranoia though.

How do other people's dc's cope with education

My son has never been to school. I did home ed with him. And as we dont live in the UK I can't really comment on education but my friend who's daughter is HFA has been an example of everything that should have happened for her, actually did happen. She was in a unit attached to a mainstream school, got her GCSe's, then went to college with the most fabulous support where she got her qualifications in the Science subjects that got her into Uni. Sadly, though, she only last about 6 weeks at uni doing her Forensic Science when she had to give up with the most awful anxiety. She had done her transition practice etc, and she had support in place, but she said it was too much for her to cope with. I think its hoped she can of back in September but if not she can access services till she's 25 and Im sure something will work out for her.

I think she has been one of the lucky ones, in that what my friend fought for her to get - she got!

Happy to help where I can honestly just pm me. With regard to education my DS has...
Attend a special eduactional preparation unit at 3 (they picked up the asd)
Wouldn't statement as he was bright and achieving. I took them to court in the end and he was granted one just before secondary.
Went to two mainstreams before a pru (even though that's against the law with a statement)
Went to a special school where he did about six months before he was sectioned..
Returned there after hospital as every therapeutic school in the area turned him down due to being in a forensic unit and having knife issues. Too high a risk of suicide.
Got all his gcse's at C and above..
Got a place at college (hated it as lack of structure)
Went to a local school (hated it)
Came to my school after I begged and has passed all his courses (in art, science etc) at distinction and been offered all his places including architecture (he wants the art course though)
He is my eldest and my god it's been a battle.
I recognise a lot in what your all saying..he goads me. Even at work. He torments and winds me up. He has lost numerous jobs. He was upgraded to adult services and wouldn't get out of the car. I could go on.... things are better but it's a long road and has made me have severe anxiety. I worry all the time. Everything is secondary....

Dd has LDs and other issues which mean she's unlikely to pass any exams. She has hated school all her life. She's rarely outright refused but it's been an almost daily battle for years.

She's been in mainstream until last year. She wouldn't say boo to a goose at mainstream school. Put her head down and got on with her work. Since her switch to special school she's become aggressive to staff and refuses to attend lessons. I just don't know what the future holds.

I've never been in a position to home school and to be honest I just couldn't do it anyway.

I took dd to get a takeaway the other night. She completely flipped out. Shouting and swearing in the street about cars flashing lights at her! I barely managed to get us home safely.

This morning she's already had me in tears. Someone is banging outside (diy before 8am on a Saturday!!) she thinks it's someone trying to get at her. I wake up every day with a sense of dread, as melodramatic as that sounds.

It's really odd, certain sounds trigger these reactions. When she's calmer she says she knows it isn't true which is why her MH team are wary to label it as psychosis.

Thorn, its a well known fact that things can present differently in woman and I would go back to the mental health team and say - I want this revised.

Re the sounds - has she had a sensory profile done? Because sensory issues can and do cause very severe reactions in people?

www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/sensory-processing-disorder-checklist.html

This link is about CAPD and Ive added it because one of my other son has CAPD, as well as my eldest granddaughter. They can both get overwhelmed in a situation and I no longer use the dining room when the family are here because the noise of all of us in there, the echo or something, drives my 33 year old son mad and that's when the family version of world war 3 starts.

www.brainbalancecenters.com/blog/2014/02/auditory-processing-disorder/

Bad night last night with my son. When he is agitated , he dosent sleep very well, from 3am onwards he was up and down the stairs, in / out room. Will go out for walk...leave doors open. It does wake me. Im most worried about short term memory and not sure how to help or what help I can get for this. I have to tell him to shower , change clothes, etc etc. He isn't aggressive but some days he has a constant grin on his face. He has self harmed in the past. I just don't know if or when he will be able to return to studies....he will need a lot of support if he does. I do work full time but I just wonder how long I can keep going with it. Of course I worry bout him daily, have to leave big notes everywhere to remind him what he has to do during the day.

Not that's very interesting. She has always had huge sensory issues but they seemed to become more manageable as she grew up.

The sounds that trigger irrational thoughts are all sounds she struggled with as a child.

Where it gets very confusing is that she associates a siren, for example, with a girl she really had issues with in the past. So, siren makes her angry and she insists that *Mary is making the siren sound to get at her. When we rationalise it together she has to admit it isn't physically possible. In the moment she seems to believe it's true.

She has many others too which make her life very difficult. Just going outside is an issue. She won't sit in the living room as she can see cars! We often have to leave our home because even the upstairs neighbour walking triggers a violent reaction. I just worry this is our life now, she won't get better.

Smiley sorry you had such a bad night, it's so tough.

In many respects I need and want to work but it's the constant pressure of getting there on time after fighting to get dd to school. Feeling anxious and worried all the time.

Thorn, you explain the situation really well. Could you go back to the mental health team and say it to them all over again?

I was actually thinking about you today. My sons paranoia was disguised as sensory issues for quite some time. Or perhaps that should be I wasn't familiar enough with paranoia to realise it wasn't sensory we were dealing with. He's always had sensory issues but they got worse as he got older and of course I was saying - oh its because of puberty.

Anyway, one day I was at my wits end and I got in touch with a UK based sensory clinic and they sent people out to see my son with the upshot being that we then took him to the UK for 3 months so they could well and truly unravel him. They'd work with him 8 hours a day and to be frank they were firefighting the whole time. Anyway one day a new guy came on board, a psychiatric nurse with no experience of autism and by the end of the first day he said - this is paranoia. Of course I then realised he'd been brought in to have a wee look at my son and by co-incidence my husband had said to me a few days earlier whilst in the midst of an upset - he is paranoid.

So this is what I mean by it being possible that sensory issues can look like other things and vice versa. But, from what you've said I think your daughter is very likely extremely anxious. It happens to my son as well, something crops up and it immediately transports him back in time to when that particular thing caused him upset in the first place. He can just never move on from it and its for all intents and purposes like the need of a record player stuck in a groove. There's never any new in relationship to things, its the same reaction to the same old thing.

There is a name for it but my menopause brain has well and truly struck today and for the life of me I can't remember it.

But if it would help - you could maybe read up a bit on the part of the brain called the Amygdala. It always helps me to understand what part of the brain is doing what and this is quite a good wee example of its function.

biology.about.com/od/anatomy/p/Amygdala.htm

Smiley, that sounds really difficult for all of you. Im sorry.

Would melatonin help with the sleep issues. We use extended release with my son who's sleeping habits were on par with your boys and its helped loads.

I have to post and run- just wanted to say really quick melatonin has been a lifesaver to us. DS10 has adolescent biopolar (we live in US). He has a melatonin with his evening meds at 8pm, showers, plays a bit and is fast asleep at 9pm. Sleeping through the night and having a strict routine makes a huge difference to his mental health. Will post more later, .

Ah not I can't explain how it makes me feel for someone to get what's going on, and acknowledge it and even just say my name. Same for wannabe too. Sorry, I've had wine.

My loneliness in dealing with this makes it so hard.

I have a behavioural specialist from my local county autism service due to see us next month. I'm going to email her what I've written here before we see her. She may have some ideas.

I will ask his Mental Health Nurse about Melatonin, Just applied for PIP, he does get ESA . He often gets on a train and misses his stop.Just done a week with Princes Trust but can't tell me what he did. He can go mute, usually for a couple of days. He is so vulnerable, He is my youngest. I've adapted to his needs , breaks my heart.

I am interested I melatonin too as my son has huge issues with sleep. Is it worth seeing the doctor or buying some over the internet (I know you can get it over the counter in America and Canada)
Unfortunately I am up again this early due to stomach ache and I suspect a blocked colostomy bag. On a bank holiday. And it's DS2's 15th birthday today. And I am so swollen on one side I look like I need a visit from dynorod..... (sobs)

Dd used Melatonin for a while a few years ago. We found it worked for a while then seemed to stop. It's worth a try though, some people swear by it. She's had a lifetime of sleep problems and usually ends up sleeping with me!

A side affect of Respiridone is that she feels very tired so she now sleeps the best she ever has. I don't like her being on medication though. I resisted for years.

Oh wannabe that sounds uncomfortable! Me and dd are brewing a cold but shouldn't complain.

Smiley it is heartbreaking.

Melatonin can stop working after a while so instead of increasing the dose its better to lower it then increase it again a week or two later. And always get the time release version.

I buy the one we use from GMC as thats all I can get here but in the past Ive bought it over the internet and its all been good.

I would always talk it over with the Dr first if the child is young.

Wannabee, I hope you feel more comfortable by now.

Ah not I can't explain how it makes me feel for someone to get what's going on, and acknowledge it and even just say my name. Same for wannabe too. Sorry, I've had wine. blush

I had a whole bottle of it last night.

And you do know you can always come here for a natter about anything, for a laugh even.

I posted a while back on the children's mental health board. Hello to those who also posted there.

My DS is 12 with Aspergers and ASD. He has had cylical anxiety and intrusive thoughts for several years. 15 months ago he became paranoid with feelings of persecution, frequently arming himself against imagined monsters.

After referral to a psychiatric unit they thought he was having psychotic episodes, they have now said no psychosis but paranoia and feelings of persecution for which he takes respiridone. Even on a significant dose his intrusive thoughts and paranoia are desperately hard for him to cope with.

It can be like a switch clicking from calm and happy to terrified and hiding in a corner.

Luckily we have a great relationship with him and he opens up to us, which is a relief but I feeling lonely and isolated with the burden of it all.

Oh wow Merde your situation sounds so much like ours. Dd has gone up to 2 mg Respiridone but it's not touching the paranoia and intrusive thoughts.

Actually as soon as I typed that I realise maybe it is helping, but nowhere near enough! Dd isn't running away or threatening suicide or eating outside or under the duvet so our upstairs neighbour can't see her!!

Yes, we can have a laugh and a natter not.

Dd has a short, round Jamaican grandmother. I had to stifle a laugh when Dd declared "grandma is a seagull and she's up there laughing at me!" Just something about that imagery.

"grandma is a seagull and she's up there laughing at me!"

We have some of the most fabulous laughs with my boy. Take tonight for instance. My 3 eldest children all have birthdays this week so tonight they're having a BBQ in the garden. They have about 30 guests. DS went out to look for something to eat and was encouraged to sit down at the table by his sister, so he did, and because he's autistic and didnt know what to say or do next , he looked straight at one of the guests and said 'fuck you'. And thats where the Touretttes comes in handy, even though my son doesnt swear as part of it, he just swears full stop, cos 3 of us immediately said - oh that was his Tourettes.

I just wanted to comment on the medication aspect of things. Like everyone else it was a really hard decision for us to put our boy on medication and we kind of got ourselves to feel better about it by saying - just give him a small dose. So we gave him a small dose and the reality is that he never benefitted from the medication to the extent he could have. Yes there was an improvement and I think the point Im trying to make is that we do our children as much a dis-servive by not making them as comfortable as they can be on medication, as we do if we made a deliberate choice not to give it to them at all.

Merde - would an anti anxiety medication help your son as well as the Rispiredone?

Im going away tomorrow with my grandsons football team. Im the team granny. We'll be away 5 days. Its just so I can help if any of them are homesick etc. Im taking my computer with me and I'll nip in when I can as Im liking being here with all of you.