Incredibly pathetic jealousy

[AliceScarlett]

I'm in long term therapy for trauma/dissociation/BPD. I do love it, its super helpful, but it brings out the worst in me, it highlights the infantile needs I still carry around
Anyway, my therapist gave me lots of warning and told me he is going on holiday for ten days in June. I know he is married and even though I am well aware he is allowed to go on holiday!! I am SO jealous, like sickeningly jealous. Obviously I hate the wife (how dare she go on holiday with her husband?!) I can't believe he is "abandoning" me for over a week and generally I just want to scream and shout about how unfair it is that he isn't Mine and that he means so much more to me than I do to him

Just ranting.

It's okay. I believe attachment to the therapist is a recognised part of the process for some people xx

You obviously have a sense of humour!

My friend who has BPD is the same with her consultant, you're not alone.

I don't suppose he could invite you along? Pretty selfish of him and his mrs not to

It's absolutely a thing. There's a name for it which escapes me at the moment, a form of transference or something? There must be info online with suggestions on how to deal with it.

I know I feel overly excited about seeing my psychologist and psychiatrist. It's so unusual and nice to feel like there is someone whose sole purpose is to focus entirely on YOU for an hour or so on a regular basis.

Sometimes I feel like I have impress my therapists to make them like me

Well last time he said he was going away I asked innocently where we going because obviously I'd need to know what to pack....and they left without me! SO selfish

Rear I think I've spent the last 2 years trying to get him to like me. I always put perfume on, little bit of leg showing . I know he hates pseudoscience so once I wore this! Seriously.....

Oh you poor bugger! Both my psych and shrink are female, so for me it's more about me wanting them to think I'm cool and would be good company for coffee and cake. I desperately want them to think I'm smarter than the average patient too

Give it time, you'll be questioning your sexuality Joke! No it is a bitch transference.
I Googled where he is going on holiday, even more jealous now . Might tell him, why not.

I went weird last night and emailed him like 7 times. Seriously.... I was sharing stuff off Tumblr, but seriously?! There is something wrong with me.
I emailed this morning apologising for sending emo emails at 11pm, but no reply. What I must not do is email again. That's where true madness lies.

He emailed back saying "it's fine Alice, see you tomorrow" phew.