Hi
I've never posted on this board before. I've put something similar on the employment board but thought this might be more appropriate in some ways.
I was once bullied badly by a previous boss and ended up very ill and suffering with depression and anxiety. I then got back into work in a different field and less pressurised job and loved it straight away and felt part of the team. I'd been in that job a few years and felt that even though I loved it I was struggling financially and also wanted to progress and unfortunately there was no opportunity to do that in that department. I applied for a job in the same organisation but in a different department. I didn't really think I would get but I did.
This week I started the new job this week and I'm feeling really mixed about things. I can't say it was a really bad week but I just feel so overwhelmed. The job is quite a step up and a move into management compared to my previous job. I feel so daunted and I'm panicking that I'm never going to understand it all and know what I'm doing. Most of this week has been meeting people but not much actual focus on what I'm going to be doing day to day. I know it's going to be quite a high pressure role and I'm really worried that I'm not going to be good at it, that I'm not clever enough and that basically I'm out of my depth. I'm also really missing my previous team and feel quite lonely. I hate that feeling of being new and knowing nothing. I feel as if the whole new job situation has just triggered my anxiety again. I'm panicking that even though there were good reasons for looking for another job maybe it was the wrong thing to do and I'm terrified of things getting as bad as they were before. I would love to hear about people's experiences of starting a new job - particularly anyone who was really unsure at first and now loves their job which would give me a bit of hope that this will pass. Also anyone who suffers with anxiety and/or depression it would be lovely to hear from you and not feel quite so alone.
xx