I can't cope with life.

[ScumOfTheEarth]

I'm 50 and unmarried.
I was an unwanted child and went through my childhood mainly being ignored by my parents; Dad already had three children and my mother never wanted children. I wasn't at all academic but I was sent to a very academic prep school where I had to leave at age 11 because I wasn't clever enough to get into the senior school.
As a teenager, I self harmed as a response to being bullied at school. At home my lack of academic prowess and general niceness was given as reasons to tell me that I would end up living on a council estate with the rest of the good for nothing people who I was like.
My parents ended up paying for me to go to a psychiatrist to get me put right and when that didn't work they put me in a psychiatric ward for teenagers. That taught me a lot about self harm and drug overdoses.
I left school with no qualifications and left home 3 years later and went NC with my parents.
I have no friends and muddle through the best I can which isn't very well at the moment.

That sounds like a really difficult childhood. Do you work now? What are your interests?

Yes, I do work. Nothing much but it keeps me busy. I spend most of my spare time reading and going for walks.

May I ask, are you a woman or a man? Your post doesn't indicate

Sorry Marchate, I'm female.

Sorry to ask! I don't feel able to help men with MH problems as their minds are not like mine. That's not meant to be sexist. I'm certain I would say the wrong thing

Do you think you were the family scapegoat? Were your step brothers and sisters treated well?

You say you have no friends - I'm sorry about that. Has that always been the case? Has there been anyone you were close to?

I never lived with my father's children as they lived elsewhere in the country with their mother. I've never had any friends, I'm not the sort of person who can make friends. Normally it's OK, it's what I am used to but I'm going through a bad patch at the moment.

OP - you were clearly dealt a very rough hand in life from your family.

Do you belong to any social groups? A book club?

Change your username now. You are not that person.

It's just a name. Shit, I posted with my other MN name. I've reported myself to MNHQ.
No, I'm not in any social groups.

You know I got to the bit where you said you read and go for walks - and couldn't help but be impressed.

I wish I could say something helpful - but I'm far more likely to turn this into a thread about me. (And I'm equally rubbish at juggling more than one user name)

What are you reading?

Do you enjoy writing, OP?

I don't like your username though. It doesn't suit you. I still think you should change it

It really is never too late.

It is time to start looking forward and stop looking back, yes those people treat you terribly but it's you who can control your life now.

Have you heard of city socialiser or meet up?

They are in most areas across the country for people like yourself who want to enjoy social interaction.

The activities are everything from theatre to walking to yoga!!

Don't give up on life it's not a rehearsal it's your only shot.

Do you work?

I was going to comment on the name too. It's very sad. You won't feel that way soon. We'll help!

Are you on meds