DH stormed off again - reducing medication

[Whatdoesntkillyou16]

Once again, DH - who is diagnosed as having depression and prescribed ADs but has independently decided to wean himself off them - has volcanically erupted over something minor and stormed off out of the house. No idea where he is (he's been out 3 hours now). Before he went, he just lost it - swearing and shouting at the top of his voice, kicking and slamming doors, blaming me for him getting angry. It's happened before. I don't know what to do. I've told him before that it's unacceptable (it's like he goes from 0 to 100 in 5 seconds) and that I think it's abusive. He minimises it by blaming me.

I've thought about contacting his doctor to talk about his medication reduction (I still think he needs his ADs but I appreciate it's not my call) but I don't think they'd discuss it due to confidentiality.

I guess I have to somehow deal with the situation now. Previously, he's eventually returned, locked himself in the spare room until he's felt better. Now, I have no idea at what stage his weaning off has reached - or if it's been too quick (his behaviour indicates it has). I doubt the police will act so soon regarding him going missing as it's only been three hours. Do I leave things until he returns or should I act in some way?

[Marchate]

So many women allow themselves to believe it is caused by depression (or alcohol etc) because:

1. It's easier to accept than facing the fact that he is being horrible on purpose
   

1. He has trained (brainwashed) you to believe it

[NameChange30]

But by all means talk to women with partners who have depression, it won't take long for you to realise that your partner is very different from theirs.

[kickassangel]

If he is smashing things and yelling uncontrollably you can call the police. That will gt him out.

It doesn't really matter whether it's abuse/depression because the bottom line is that it's impossible for you and your children to live like this, and you are all in danger in case the next time he 'gets depressed' one of you happens to be in the way and gets hurt. That is the next step for him, btw. It's a test to see if you'll forgive him for hurting one of you. He'll say he didn't mean to, be really sorry, then say it was your/dc fault as you were in the way and he couldn't stop himself. Carrying on the relationship after that will be the full green light he's looking for that says "go ahead, beat the crap out of me and the kids. I'll just let you keep going." That will be his thinking over the next few months.

I know you don't want your kids to be in danger, but almost always, the men who throw things and smash things then 'accidentally' hurt someone, then just go for full on violence. It may take another 6 months or a year before he does that to one of you, but he is allowing himself to do all of this, and will keep going to see how much more he can get away with.