Name changed for this.
I have a 2YO DD. In the 3 months before she was born three very difficult things happened: 1) I was sexually assaulted at work and then frozen out by my boss, effectively ending a successful 10 year professional career; 2) a close and much loved relation was suddenly diagnosed with late stage cancer and died 2 weeks before DD was born; 3) we moved continents back to the UK. During the years we were away most of our friends had moved or we had become less close. I felt very isolated.
Coupled with that I had a very difficult birth and we don't have any relations near to help. I am NC with my parents after a miserable controlled childhood and early adulthood. My DH works very long hours and I was effectively alone with DD all day everyday.
I adore DD and we have a lot of fun together, but I have only had a couple of hours break from her since she was born. But after everything that happened the thought of going back to work terrifies me. I am therefore a SAHM. We go to lots of groups and classes but I haven't really made any new friends.
I have put on a lot of weight and don't seem to have the motivation to lose it. Recently things haven't been great with DH, I find him snappy and uncaring. Yesterday he snapped at me as soon as he walked through the door and I told him that I was not happy with the way he spoke to me. His response was that I should go to the doctors as I clearly clinically depressed.
I don't know whether I'm clinically depressed or not. I don't actively feel unhappy, just not particularly happy and unmotivated. I'm worried that if I go to the doctors I will then have a "history"of mental disorder that will have to be disclosed on forms for life-insurance etc. I don't really know if I need help or would just be wasting the doctor's time. What could they actually do?
If you've got this far, thanks for reading. I know it all sounds very woe-is-me so feel free to tell me to stop being so self-pitying.