Therapy? It's like a Buddhist retreat...

[PoodleNoodle]

I'm fuming. I saw my gp today, hoping for a supportive ear. My year-long journey in psychotherapy is about to end and I feel like I'm falling apart. I witnessed the abuse of my sister by my father as a child and I have been left with depression and although undiagnosed, I believe I have ptsd. I have spent many years pulling my socks up but the birth of my son unexpectedly triggered a major episode (it's lasted 5 yrs so far). There's a lot going on generally at the moment, DPs father has terminal cancer, DS has been referred to the local CAMHS for assessment for potential aspergers / ADHD. I'm really struggling to cope, everything seems so loud and busy and exhausting and I just want it to stop.
My gp has signed me off for two weeks and made it clear that she'd give me no more. Apparently I've chosen to do therapy, it's a bit like a Buddhist retreat, it should be making me feel better not triggering a capsize and I should be using my annual leave.
I fail to see how I chose to have an alcoholic paedophile for a father and I did not choose mental illness. I have avoided therapy for years because I knew it was going to be tough. I 'chose' now to do it because I was on the verge of capsize anyway and it was seriously affecting my son.
Working through witnessing the rape of your sister (on more than one occasion), does not bear any relation to the experience of a Buddhist retreat. I don't know what to do. I think I will get the same response from the other gps at my practice. I can't concentrate, my head hurts all the time, my body aches from being constantly tense. I just want to sleep all the time. What do I need to say to make my gp understand? I don't want to start making visible crys for help. I should be able to use words. I feel vulnerable and fragile. Sorry this is so long :-(

Not a good attitude from current GP. It may be worth trying a different doctor all the same. Some are more sympathetic to MH than others, sadly

I had to take a relative with MH problems to A&E before they got a proper diagnosis, treatment, and plenty of time off work. Could that be an option?

Look at websites of some of the better known MH charities. Some have 24 hr helplines

You have been through a lot - more than 2 weeks off work will fix!

I'm so sorry that sounds incredibly difficult, distressing and painful. I have no experience of therapy but didn't want to read and run. Is there any way your therapy could be extended or is it reliant on the GP? Would MIND be able to help you at all? Could you possibly change surgeries?

I hope someone is along soon who can offer you better support.

OP your GP sounds useless. Just because someone is a GP it doesn't make them someone who understands MH issues/or is actually a nice person (nb I have GP friends so this is based on their tales not my own assertions). I would really try another Dr at your practice…could someone go with you?

For what it's worth, you're not alone in therapy triggering a decline. I found that when I ended up talking about what went on in our family (this happened when I was a teenager) it unlocked a pandoras box…all the stuff I'd forgotten about or repressed. I can relate to the physical effects- I couldn't sleep, had nightmares when I did, hyperaware. Things got a lot worse for a long time before I got better, and I think there was around a 6 month period of it as it's absolute worst. It was necessary, but an absolutely awful time. Therapy is not like a retreat. It is hard work, and it is painful but the results are usually worth it in that you should be able to move on with your life. Medical people should know this- I once had a psychiatrist tell me that I wasn't strong enough for the talking therapy that I needed, at that point in my life- so this is a 'thing'!

Why is your year of therapy ending?

Idiot GP. As danger says, it is known that therapy makes things worse before they get better.

My first flowers! Thanks danger. I'm only getting a year as it's through the nhs, funding I imagine.
I'm not an assertive person at the best of times, unfortunately my DP wants me back to work asap so I can't take him with me. I'm not sure a second opinion wouldn't just end in more humiliation. I know the received wisdom is to try and carry on as normally as possible.

I'm in a similar boat to you but have a really supportive doctor so I would stress trying a different doctor, a different practice if needed. And don't be afraid to put in a complaint to the practice manager. They are not giving you the support you need.

On a different note, why is your partner not supporting you? I get it might be hard to understand but that's not an excuse. My husband has admitted he doesn't really get it but his attitude is he will support whatever I need to do to get well. That would bug me as much, if not more than your doctor

rosenwyn have you been signed off? May I ask how long you have been given?
DP is trying to be supportive but is another sock-puller who trusts the drs opinion.
The cruelest thing about mental illness is its Invisibility :-(

I completely get you. I went to CBT for anxiety, which opened up a whole can of worms and I sank into a depression and am now on medication. There shouldn't be a limit on the time someone needs in therapy, however, I would question the progress you've been making with your particular therapist if after a year you're still not functioning how you want to be.
What does your therapist think? Would they write a letter of recommendation to continue to your GP?

Whatever you do, don't ignore how you feel to please other people, but maybe there's no harm in trying to work and if it all goes bottoms up, you'll be safe in the knowledge you tried to test your limitations and it didn't work. And if you find it does help and is a good distraction and boosts your confidence, then all the better :)

Hang on in there x

hmm it is a shame that DP can't be supportive. I'd take the 2 weeks and then if you're not fit to go back at the end of the fortnight go back to (perhaps another) GP. You might feel differently in a fortnight, but if not, then it would be difficult for GP to insist that you are well enough if all your symptoms are suggesting otherwise!

If you go back to work is there any chance of continuing therapy privately?