agoraphobia can't even do school run anymore.

[LunaRose14]

Hi,
are there any other sufferers?
I've suffered with a crippling anxiety disorder for over 5 years and now agoraphobia.
I've recently got really bad again resulting in me not leaving the house at all and unable to even take my own son to school. As you can imagine i feel totally crap and useless also unable to see any light at the end of the tunnel.
I got 'forced' to the gp this week as my oh had to return home from work because i couldn't cope any longer and they prescribed me 50mg of sertraline which has been given me awful side effects like feeling dizzy, sick, upset stomach, insomnia, lack of appitite and dry mouth.
I've been referred to the local counselling service as well but have previously had CBT which didn't help at all so I'm at a loose end wonder what i can do or if there is anything I can do at all?
Hoping to find some one who's been through/ going through the same. Xxx

Hi Luna, I've been there too. At one point I couldn't leave my bedroom if DH was out, I would sit at the end of the bed all day until he came home from work. It's crippling and soul destroying but you can get through it with the right plan. I'm currently taking Citalopram and it's been the best for my anxiety of all the meds that I've tried. I go to work every day, function well and my anxiety is low. But I can't leave my home town. That's enough for me. I've had CBT, NLP and hypnotherapy, literally spent thousands on therapies that have had little to no effect, for me it's all about the medication. ADs often have side effects early on that subside, if you can stick with it which is hard because in early days they can make you feel worse. But Citalopram have been great for me. Make the most of good days and support, they are your weapon. Keep posting, am sure others will be along too, there are plenty of us around.

Thank you for your reply it's always comforting know that you're not a complete weirdo.
My family try to understand but i know they don't really 'get' it and just think I can pick and choose when I have a flare up.
I had got to an OK point for the past 3ish years not anxiety free but under control without any help. I was able to do the school run, shopping and some day trips as long as I didn't put too much planning or thought in and just got up and went. Also I would go in a separate car to my oh so I could leave at any point.
After my major melt down this week it has left me wondering why I should bother going on if I have to go through this every few years. It's totally soul destroying and I feel like a total failure to my children. They deserve to go out any enjoy fun trips and activities every weekend not stuck with a mum that can't even manage a trip to the local shop to get them sweets or just lock myself in my bedroom all day alone and leave their Dad to pick up the slack.

Luna, seriously, I totally get where you are coming from wondering why I should bother going on if I have to go through this every few years but turn it on it's head - you have a condition, an illness, and every few years it flares up - that leaves a lot of time in between where you can control it. It is soul destroying, you are right, but it will pass and you'll be on an up again. So many parents don't do things with their kids every weekend - because they're too busy doing chores, don't have enough money, 101 reasons so don't beat yourself up about that for a minute more.
And don't call yourself a weirdo either. I've done that shit and putting yourself down when you are suffering is no good. Accept that this is your life and you will live it the best that you can, when you can. I know that's tough, I've missed out on so so much but I make the best of the things I can do. You wouldn't beat yourself up if you had flu, so don't beat yourself up over this. I know this is MN and we're not supposed to do this here but big big hug, you are not alone

How are you getting on Luna?

How are you now?