It's early days, I started on 25mg last Monday for 4 days, I'm now on 50mg. No significant side effects - dry mouth, thirsty, not really interested in food. Don't feel any better - crying several times a day, every day. Yes, I'm impatient for it to work.
I spent a few years on Fluoxetine & decided to come off it last summer, very gradually & sensibly. I thought I was doing OK. I was quiet pleased with myself - med free, eating healthily, exercising, not exactly 'happy' but not unhappy. I'd given up smoking a few years previously, ended all toxic relationships, got a grip on my disordered eating, gave up alcohol just before Christmas. I got rid of the Band Aids I had used to help me cope with (avoid?) the shit things in life - the safety net of self destruction.
Even though on the surface they were fun to be around, I have distanced myself from the friends who seem to cope with their sticking plasters of alcohol & occasional drug use.
A few weeks ago I knew I was slipping into that hellish black hole of hopelessness. I crashed, hit a brick wall - had a breakdown I think.
And here I am - writing this to stop me from going back to bed today. I'm 45 years old. My children deserve to have a mum who enjoys life - who actually FEELS joy at their achievements.
I don't feel suicidal, it's more of a feeling of not wanting to exist - I don't see the point of 'me'. I dislike myself intensely, I don't 'care' about 'me'. I'm not sleeping - bed 11pm, awake 2am. I don't want to leave the house. I feel overwhelmed by everything - from the basics of doing the washing up to the big stuff of dealing with paperwork for my divorce. I could go on, but I'm boring myself.
I would like to hear about other peoples experiences - old, new, good, bad, ugly. Any advice because this is a really shit, lonely place to be.