Anyone else dreading Christmas?

[Tazchops]

Everyone says I should be looking forward to it and making an effort, it's the first for DS. But he hasn't got a clue what's happening, and I just haven't got the energy to get enthusiastic. Maybe that makes me a bad mum. Wish it could be magical, but it's not.

first christmases with kids are a bit of a damp squib imo. as you say they haven't a clue - you can't make it magical. next year you'll maybe manage a bit of magic then the following year it'll come into its own. I'd try to see this as your last adult christmas - enjoy the relative freedom to still do it your way and don;t worry about ds.

Babies just don't get it do they? Don't let anyone put you under pressure. Organise a quiet Christmas, as your baby is still quite young, tell everyone that he'll be overwhelmed by crowds and you want a good night's sleep so if they do visit, can they come in small crowds and sod off after half an hour!

Get in a nice bottle of wine, or even better, some Baileys! Rent a DVD you want to watch and get some of your favourite grub in. This is the last Christmas you'll be able to get away with doing bugger all so make the most of it!

And sod the rest of them!

No it doesn't make you a bad mum. It doesn't get really exciting for them until they are 4 or 5 ime. In fact we were watching old video last night of ds1's first christmas and he was totally non-plussed. It's just me unwrapping all the things I wrapped in the first place!

In fact, ds1 is now 5.9 and I'd say this is the first year he is really revved up for it. Ds2 is 4.1 and he's looking forward to it but still not as excited as ds1.

Ds has just turned 3 and he is getting the idea.

It is more fun with kids, but you have all that in front of you and then the pressure is on to give them traditional perfect Christmasses everytime! So enjoy your grown-up Christmas, others are only jealous.

I think part of the problem is I have nobody to share it with (apart from DH) I have no family, DH has some, but they live far away and can't be arsed to come and see us (think it's mutual) I'd love a big family Christmas, probably some people's idea of hell, but I guess the grass is always greener.....

You will have your big family Christmas with your own children one day.

We have such high expectations of Christmas, such ideals, and we get disappointed when they are not met. We'll be spending Christmas Day on our own too, but I think I will like that. You can then do what you like without having to adhere to someone else's rules.

Make the most of what you have. A partner who loves you, your first child, etc. These are special gifts you know, don't fall into the trap of not seeing what is in front of you. It is you who makes Christmas special, no-one else.

You're absolutely right Cliff, and I do feel like an ungrateful moo sometimes, just find it hard to keep things in perspective sometimes - thanks for the reminder!

YOU can make this a brilliant Christmas! Start a list of what things you and your partner like to do together, what foods you like etc. Then plan a day of treats for you both. You'll both be emotionally exhausted after the birth of your first child and you need to take care of each other.

Merry Christmas hun! x

Tazchops, we are in a similar position in that we have no family around to have the big 'do. I have two DS' the oldest one is almost 5 and DS 2 is 7mths. DS 1 is so excited it is infectious. But i know the first christmas is hard with no family to make a fuss of your LO. It will get better though, as Cliff says just get your favorite food in, some booze and curl up in front if the TV. I love our little family christmas' now and there none xtended family politics to endure.

I worry too much about what other people think - people say "what are you doing for Christmas" and I say it's just the 3 of us, they tend to think I'm a bit sad - but they're probably secretly jealous! Merry Christmas everyone! x