Self harm

[Airlyeth]

I used to self harm, but haven't for over a year now and even then incidences were few and far between.

I had a baby in November and since then all I can think of his hurting myself. I can't seem to get myself out of this hole I am in. My other half is very encouraging and supportive but he doesn't quite get it. For example I'm feeling pretty low and negative and I suggested going to the Drs a couple of times and first he said that I'd be diagnosed with depression and SS would get involved and then today he just shrugged it off and said it was because I couldn't find a nice dress to wear!

I feel like I'm constantly fighting against a tide and I cannot admit to having a weakness. I can't be sad, or lonely, or upset, negative or frustrated. I'm supposed to be full of the joys because I've just had my first child (who I love to the ends of the earth and back) .

But I can't. Really I just want to slide back into that feeling of release but I know that's not good for me or the baby!

Not sure why I'm writing this, but it feels good to get it off my chest.

Oh lovely, go to your GP. It doesn't have to be like this.

I had post-natal depression with both of my DC, then last year I became very ill and spent 4 months in a mental health unit. I self-harmed requiring hospital treatment and made two suicide attempts. Despite all of this, I've not heard anything from SS. Nobody's mentioned it at all. So please don't worry about that, it's a non-issue.

You might be able to overcome this and get better by yourself, or you might not. It's an illness, just like anything else, it's nothing to be ashamed of. (I can tell you this, and I know it's right, but I struggle to make myself believe it.) If you need to have some treatment for it then you need to. You don't need his permission to go to the doctor.

Sorry that I'm not very good at this, I'm struggling myself at the moment but your post struck a chord in me so I felt I had to reply.

You sound like you have PND and definitely need to go the GP never mind what your OH says. He might be encouraging and supportive but you really need to see the GP and get some help. It really does sound like you have PND though I'm no medic. I think some people are still embarrassed about mental illness but 1 in 4 people will suffer at some point in their lives and one third of all GP consultations are MH related.

And as criminy says - SS will not be interested. I am a retired social worker and I can assure you that social workers will not be bothered about a young mum with depression. There are hundreds of people like you (and me - except I'm not a young mum) out there, so pick up the phone and make the appointment. You might find it helpful to write down a list of your symptoms and give it him/her - most of us burst into tears once we're in the surgery but that's ok - they will be used to that.

Criminy Hi - hope things are a bit easier

Please go to your GP or talk to your HV about how you're feeling. It does sound like PND, which can be crippling and can't just be shrugged off. For me self harm was a way of getting rid of some of the distress I was feeling inside, but also a form of control at a time when I felt I had very little control in my life. It's just another symptom of how low you are at the moment. So please talk to someone and don't be ashamed. PND is not an issue SS would interested in