I feel like I'm stuck in a hole, and the ground keeps giving way and dropping further down. I'm not sure where to start but I'm trying to deal with depression while having to be the motivator of the house.
My husband suffers with Rapid Cycling Bipolar Disorder and our situation is making his triggers worse and his moods erratic, and I can't put this on him.
Our situation was never met to be this. In 2012 we decided we wanted to emigrate, to Germany. For many boring reasons our original plan was changed as my parents decided they would emigrate too. The plan changed to this, they would buy the house and carry out essential work to make it work for us (them and us) it is meant to be 2 self contained flats, with a loft area for DH and us to extend into, and DH and I would pay all the household bills, instead of rent. (The house would be my inheritance) I had conditions on agreeing to this particular house as it didn't meet many of our requirements, my parents assured me that the conditions would be met as they didn't want to continue house hunting. (We only viewed 2!)
Key conditions were, to enclose the stairs which divides the properties, as my flat was in two sections, one half enclosed by a wall and a door at the top of the stairs, and the other half is completely open to downstairs. To enclose the garden, so my children can access the garden without having to negotiate the main road, and for the non functioning bathroom to be sorted.
We moved here in July 2014, to date none of my conditions have been met, my parents decided to blow all the money for the work on the house on a Mercedes instead. My bathroom barely functions, it's not sealed, it has no heat and a leaky window. Also in our agreement, my parents were to find sufficient employment to fund themselves, diesel, shopping, trips out etc. In November 2014 after 6 weeks from starting to look, my husband started a new job. By January my parents had run out of money. By March their iffy job seekers money claim was rejected, since then DH and I have had to pay everything! And I mean everything. My parents eventually got a mini job, and pretty much spend all of it within a week of being paid and out and out refuse to tell us on what, even though we still have to then fund them.
I got a job in June but unfortunately was laid off within my probation due to the work force being relocated to Poland. My parents' spending has put DH and I in around 10k of debt, and due to the dates things are paid, many of our own bills have gone unpaid, while their bills have been. DH lost his job too in November due to the relocation (we were in the same company) My parents have not heeded all our warnings about money and the severe lack thereof. My mum is a bully, entering any kind of conversation with her will result in her being abusive, unhelpful and lead to her doing very spiteful things. (She wasn't like this before) DH receives job seekers but it's not designed to support 4 adults and 2 children, so isn't going very far. In any attempt to tell Mum we cannot give her money Mum starts wrecking furniture or more precisely things would have to be repaired at expense to us of course i.e front door, cooker, windows etc
We have to get out of this house and away from my parents, and cut them off, which is easier said than done when neither DH or I have found new jobs and we literally have no money to do anything productive with. We are in such an incredible mess, which means all hope for baby number 3 is gone (which my mum is pleased about, apparently 3 is greedy when you have one of each) It's my 30th birthday next month and we might not even be able to put food on the table, my mum's reaction, was I shouldn't moan that DH can't do or get me anything because she's given me a nice! house to live in. I don't think I can put on a brave face and pretend that my birthday is a pleasant day. The children know something is wrong and are generally unhappy, everyone is miserable, grumpy, arguing and shouting all the time. I have to somehow get everyone out of bed and ready for school and kindergarten, when I all I want to do is hide in bed all day and hope it all goes away. I feel like this is all heading to some huge finale and I can't stop it.
If you have read all of this, thank you. I don't assume or expect anyone to give me the answer, but I just needed to get some of it out, somehow.