ocd has robbed me of my life, struggling, cant begin erp

[yougotthelove]

hi,

i need help, i really am at the end of my tether. i have v. bad life dehabilating ocd. it has got so bad the last 6 months.

i feel ocd has robbed me of everything but i literally find beginning exposure response prevention so hard, because once i contaminate the house & others (which is already pretty contaminated already) i cant go back

i went to have a bath which i havent in a week & something that gives me the biggest anxiety is in the bathroom ( a soap in the dispenser by the bath that is contaminated - it is one of my biggest fears) so how can i begin to expose myself when it is one of the worst.

i know feeling anxious & being covered in disgusting stuff is better than this life i am barely leading, but it is just the worst idea ever to try & face it - the anxiety & feeling is just so unbareable

im so off with my brain today, - i just wanted to have a bath & a walk and im so tired

any helpful words or tips would be nice, but i know i need to just face my fears instead of letting them rule my what is left of no life

i also tried to ring ocd uk on skype but cant on subscription. it is a 0845 number so just feels like a proper shit day.

thankyou for listening to my rant

I'm really sorry I don't know very much about ocd but I do know it can take over your life. I have intermittent depression and that does a pretty good job of fucking up my life!

Is CBT any good for ocd?

You should call your Gp and get an appointment asap. You don't have to live like this, it's awful. I know hypnotherapy can help, as well as CBT

Thanks both for replies - I'm in the middle of hypnotherapy but I feel like it isnt the right person, but have paid for a course of treatment ( i dont think the hypnotherapist gets it)

i tried private cbt and didn't help, i know i need to try again but at the end of the day i need to do it myself & i dont feel strong enough. i also worry that ill be waiting quite a while for cbt, i know what they will say & what i need to do - face my fears - exposure, but i find this so hard.

i tried ssris but really struggled with side effects.

A family member has OCD and is about to start exposure response therapy. It's hard to watch her struggle with the condition. Do you have a psychiatric nurse you can contact when things get bad?

no, not currently. i havent spoken to the gp about my ocd. i feel bad for my family as its hard to watch someone with ocd so i completely understand your comment

Def speak to gp and get on waiting list for therapy. Maybe try a different medication. I hope you get a sympathetic gp, mine was lovely when I told him. Others aren't so much but you can always see another x

I literally have had the worst few days, i can barely eat & sleep.

i feel like i need to get away from my house asap but there is nowhere to go. does anywhere offer like rooms or places to stay.

i cant recover whilst im in this house, im so physically ill from my ocd

Is your Gp open today?

no, doesnt seem to be

That's a shame, I'm sorry you're having a rough time. Find out when they open next on their website and book an emergency app straight away to see someone x

thanks, its just unfortunately ocd (especially contamination) can put you into a prison & make you feel very lost.

I've had it my whole life around my phobia, was awful when I was younger, stopped me doing a lot of things that others my age were doing.
CBT really helped me overcome some of it. About not letting the anxiety 'win' and then grow.
Let us know how you get on at gp

You could maybe phone NHS 24. Ask to speak to someone from the Mental Health Team. I'm sure someone would help you, providing they realise it's your MH that's problematic

Or is there a Mental Health NHS Trust (or whatever they're called) in your area? They probably have a 24 hour number