Why me?!?

[PJsAndWine]

The last couple of days I've really been struggling to deal with my depression & finding everything really hard again!! I haven't felt this bad in almost 18months

I keep thinking I should just be happy

I'm in a new relationship which is brilliant & he makes me happy which is why I can't understand why I feel as low as I do!

I had a miscarriage in October which I know is dragging me down but I was coping with that until about a week ago.

My anxiety has shown its face again and can't even go shopping without totally freaking out!

I am not a girlie, so I can know nothing of what it feels like to be pregnant. Please forgive me if I am wrong.

I cannot imagine that a miscarriage is anything other than painful and traumatic. Your hormones and all your emotions are probably going through the roof and back down again as your body is adjusting to not being pregnant. Please don't be hard on yourself. You have every reason to be anxious.

It's a bloody depressing time, OP. It's not just you. Are you on antidepressants?

PPB - Mind your back; they'll have your guts for garters calling them girlies

I haven't been on any anti depressants for nearly 2years & trying my hardest not to go back on them as feel it would be massive step back and I'll feel like I've failed

That's depression talking. It wouldn't mean you failed. It would mean you got sick.

I know exactly what you mean though. Have had the same thoughts myself.

I'm in a new relationship which is brilliant & he makes me happy which is why I can't understand why I feel as low as I do!

It's because depression is an illness which can happen to anyone, regardless of circumstances. Antidepressants are a medical treatment and nothing to do with "failure".