Scared I'm becoming agoraphobic - depression/anxiety

[LoneRangeress]

So iv suffered with depression most of my life and have posted here before when I started the sertraline which I stopped taking.. For jo good reason if I'm honest

But over time iv noticed the changes in myself.. Zero confidence.. Constantly comparing myself to everyone who seems perfect in comparison to me :(

I rarely go out unless I have to ie shops etc but even then my partner does most of it.. I haven't been out for a drink socially in over 3 years! I rarely take my children out anywhere anymore (their behaviour doesn't help) and I deliberately make excuses not to go or do anything..

I feel panicked about how I look.. What I'm wearing.. Talking to people.. I flare up with ridiculous blushes for no reason (which makes me want to not talk to anyone)

I used to be the life and soul of the party and full of confidence.. Maybe too confident sometimes lol

Has anyone else experienced this.. Has my depression am anxiety turned jot something else and is it reversible?
I just want the old me back. The happy me.
I'm always tired.. Always I'll.. Never have any life in me. I'm a waste I a person :(

Sorry for the ramble.
My partner is working so took the opportunity to get it all out whilst I'm alone (kids still in bed)

I find that the longer I don't go out, the harder it is: I had a period a few years ago of really ropey agoraphobia, where I would end up in a total state of panic attacks, hyperventilation and tears, when I had to leave the house. I'm off work atm, and have noticed that the longer I leave it without going out of the house, the worse it is - I make myself leave once a week, even to the corner shop to get a paper, just to break the cycle, as I can't bear the thought of going back to that again.

So - it is reversible: but you do have to force it, sometimes for a while, I am afraid - and the more you do it, the more confident etc you get. But if you are suffering from anxiety and depression, these illnesses will be whispering at you at that you can't do it and you aren't worth it and all that.

Can you bear to go back to your GP? Why did you stop with the sertraline? Have you been offered anything else? Have you been referred for counselling? There's lots of different ADs they can try, and there are things also for anxiety - and sometimes, CBT can be really effective for anxiety too.

Anyway - remember that you're not alone.