I'm not going to go into description here because it will take forever so I'm just going to list the reasons why.
- I struggle everyday with a son who has adhd & autistic & I get told my sister has it worse than me (she doesn't)
when I was 8 I was eating some pork scratchings, I'd licked the salt off (random I know) she walked straight through the door, went to get one & asked why the were wet. I told her I'd licked the salt off expecting her to laugh, she told me I was a 'greedy selfish b**h & I'd done it so none could have any'- I just sat & cried, she said it in such a nasty way, she even walked past me on the way back upstairs - I was still crying- & never apologised or gave me a hug. It wasn't that I was selfish nobody had ever asked before & I'd never done anything like that before. Then one day she phones me (about 4 years ago) & is laughing me telling me my niece has done the same thing - but she's laughing about it.
- I always got compared to my sister, why don't I clean for her like she does, why don't I become a carer (as a job not for my mum) like she is. I later became a carer but I knew after becoming one that I wasn't ready for it at 16!
- I always get 'my sisters got problems & needs help', I get 'there's something wrong with you', although it's not said directly iykwim
she's at my sisters nearly everyday & I hardly see her but that's not a bad thing
- she dropped me off down the road from a job I was starting 'in case it didn't work out' & because she didn't 'want people to associating her with me'
*one day I was walking out the house to go to my boyfriends (I was about 18) she turned to me & said "I was a big disappointment, I was expected to go far, I was the bright one & I'd really disappointed her & let her down' by the time I got to my bf (my now dh) I was in tears, the thing is she'd never encouraged or supported me in anyway shape or form.
- she helps out a lot In the community & if I ever told anyone this they'd never believe me but that's the worst about being a NPD victim... People don't believe do they?
*i was chronically depressed in my teens & got bullied by everyone, my brother, friends I'd grown up with (because of things my brother said & did - they still don't know that I know of some of the things they did), a teacher at school, strangers in the street (one sprayed alcohol in my face & some shouted abuse) - I was overweight & didn't care about my appearance I even got bullied on work experience which I think may have been due to one of my childhood 'friends'
*^ during this same time my sisters partner lived with us & I was moved out the bedroom we shared & I spent about 4 & a half years sleeping on a camp bed in my mums bedroom (he moved in just before I started secondary & moved out just short of a year before I left)
- I was locked out because I wasn't trusted because I would take things (money? Jewellery you ask? - never in a million years I used to use ('steal' as she worded it) her deodorant because the cheap on she put in the bathroom used to stick my arms together
- during this same time she would take me to my nans & tell her how I didn't help her by cleaning etc - never dawned on her I was depressed & I needed some support, at this time she was too busy running round after my sister
- she took me to a psychologist - not to 'help me' but to 'see what was wrong with me'
- I also had hateful comments of relatives including my nan (who'd always been lovley & my Aunty who only saw me once a year - I was crushed.
*i 'unfortunately' lived with her after I had my Ds' 1&2, ds1 came out of hospital first & ds2 came out about a month later. I was in the kitchen making tea because my Aunty came to visit & I could hear my mum tearing me apart! " she's always late for appointments, never on time, never has bottles ready..."
It was my first ever appointment for them both together I'd always been on time with ds1 & we found the medications blocked the bottles that's why we made them fresh
- I won't go on anymore (though I could) as an adult I've been left with social anxiety, sometimes it's hard leaving the house BUT I love my kids & I think it's made me a better parent I could never say or do anything to my children that I had done to me & I think my sense of empathy to others is over whelming. I always try & look for the good in the bad see the good in others (even the bad ones)
P.s sorry for the long post but thankyou for reading. :)