Anxiety. I just wish it would go away!

[MascaraAndConverse89]

Hi,
I've been suffering from anxiety for well over a year now. Mild depression too but the anxiety is much worse.
I worry, fret, can't sleep, and there's just something inside that isn't 100%. People who know me wouldn't think there is anything wrong with me though, as I do the classic "putting on a brave face". I have 3 lovely children, a lovely house, my family are wonderful, but yet the anxiety and depression I suffer from just won't leave me alone.

My DH knows about my anxiety and depression but he is not very supportive. He's one of the biggest causes of me feeling the way I do, and he's chipped away at me bit by bit. He has a child from a previous relationship too, and although at the beginning I accepted him with open arms, something has changed in me that I resent everything about him. Sometimes I wish I could just leave my DH as my life would be easier without his child in it. That sounds awful I know.

Some days I cannot face going out. The thought of being in public makes me panic. I lie awake at night thinking about horrible things, and then I am shattered the next day. Last night I had 3 hours sleep.
My children are 10mths, 2 and 4. They play up sometimes, so I'm scared of someone having a go at me in public about them having a tantrum or being silly. It's happened to me a couple of times and because of those couple of people, I worry that someone is going to humiliate me again. I hate them for it!! I can't get on a bus with my children and I can't go shopping with them either, because of a couple of arrogant, snooty bastards. I want my self confidence back.

I've tried talking therapies in the past but they didn't work. I'm thinking about trying medication now as I didn't want to last time. What works?

Thank you for reading. I am rambling now.

I'm not sure how much help I can be but I am in the same situation as you. It's horrible isn't it? My anxiety isn't caused by dh but by life in general getting in top of me. I also find going out and about with my three dc difficult for the same reason as you.

I have been to the Dr and told him how I was feeling and I am now taking beta blockers which help with the physical symptoms of anxiety and he has upped my dose of ADs, which helps me sleep as well as stopping me sliding further down into depression.

I take Mirtazapine ADs and they have a slight sedative effect, so stop my brain going into overdrive at bedtime. Have you been to see your GP? If you find a supportive GP it really helps, and you could discuss medication with them to find something that works for you.

I hope you feel brighter soon it's a bastard feeling like this I hate it x

Oh yes life gets on top of me but my DH makes it worse.

I'm going to go and see my GP when I get a chance to. Hopefully they will be able to help me.

That sounds like a good plan, I'm finding that now I have accepted that I have a problem with anxiety and I am trying to deal with it I feel a bit better and have a glimmer of hope that things will get better Good luck at the GP.

Do go to your GP, i am struggling wiht anxiety and its horrible so you have my heartfelt sympathy.

I am on medication although i am thinking of asking for a review as it isn't working as well as it was. It DOES work though, just needs tweaking in think.

I take something called Escitalopram, i used to take citalopram which is its cheaper alternative but escitalopram is supposed to work better for anxiety. Most of the drugs they give for anxiety are in the family of drugs called SSRIs (selective seretonin reuptake inhibitors) and they help to rebalance the seretonin levels in our brains/body. I think what one you get prescribed is often down to your GPs initial preference, some suit some people better than others but citalopram is often used as a first approach.

They can make you feel a bit shit and worse anxiety wise in the first week or so, but you can get other short term medication to deal with this if its unmanagable. Some people don't get any side effects at all, some really struggle.

It does sound like you could use some counselling too - it will help you to decide what to do about your partner. My partner struggles to support me with anxiety but in all fairness i took him to hell and back with it all so he has had to switch himself off because it affected him badly (i was really quite unwell). There will be a waiting list so its a good idea to get some meds to settle you and then ask to be referred meantime x