Anxiety - does it ever give you any peace?

[TheoriginalLEM]

Just that really - im so tired.

I try to be positive but honestly, its just a show. I just want to be fucking normal. I want to look forward without the fear of jinxing things. I want to be able to do things to our house without thinking that daring to do anything positive will bring me bad luck and to my family to and that it will be my fault.

I don't want to be dependant on medication that doesn't even work.

Can feel a really big crash approaching.

I need to go for a run but right now my anxiety wont even let me do that neither will the cold I could do some colouring but have managed to convince myself that if i do that something bad will happen.

Im not sure i can do this much longer

I want to be happy, but then i think, maybe i am? maybe my day to day life is enough, just be happy with that - i am. But im not if that makes any sense. Other people re happy aren't they? every day? content? My life isn't bad, but i honestly don't think i have the capacity to recognise happiness - that makes no sense, i can't explain it.

do you have a cuppa?

Are you on any medication for the anxiety? If so, can you make an appt with your doctor to discuss how you're feeling?

it's shit, but you're a good person and you will feel happy again one day.

I do Trinity and its a good one! little things eh :)

Am on escitalopram highest dose but its just not touching the sides at the moment. Its just an underlying feeling of generalised fear at the moment. Christmas often has that effect on me. It just gets so tiresome.

Not sure i do want to go back to the dr, ive had loads of counselling - doesn't help.

Things are "better" i have more work than i did but don't feel its a proper job so feel im letting my family down. But the thought of applying for jobs paralyses me.

even the thought of positivity scares me just now luxy, but at this stage, i'll try just about anything....

well am for givingit. a try. this has to stop

I liked your comment earlier about appreciating the small things. Try to focus on that nice cuppa, a hot bubbly bath, a good tv programme...just those small things. These little moments of pleasure will get you through this crisis until things calm down again.

Anxiety stinks!

Oh, also, have you ever tried different medication?

I'm on a low dose of Sertraline and it really has made a big difference to me. I've never tried any other ADs but I know plenty of people who have tried a variety of ADs, and almost all agree that sertraline works best for anxiety.