I've lost my confidence

[Ikeatears]

I'm definitely feeling on the better side of anxiety and depression, although some days are still a huge struggle. What I'm struggling with now is a huge crisis of confidence. Activities/situations that I previously would have had no problem with, now seem such a huge deal.
I went back to a hobby last night for part of the session. I didn't join in, I just wanted to break the ice with everyone after being off for so long. Everyone was lovely and welcoming.
I got home and spent the rest of the night in tears because I can't imagine being in a place where I will have the confidence to join in again. The same with work. The thought of it gives me palpitations but I've never struggled at work. I now can't imagine being back there.
I don't feel like 'me' anymore and it makes me sad

Struggling today, I've come back to bed. I'm crying. I can't face anything or anyone. I'm a mess. I thought things were improving.

I'm sorry to hear you're having a rubbish day. Have you gone back to your GP at all? In all honesty, I am very, very reluctant to be off work for the exact reasons you describe - I struggle the first couple of weeks, and then it becomes easy not to go in, and then impossible to get back. Do you have a really trusted friend at work who could help you? Or a good friend in your group? No-one expects you to be perfect - you've been off sick - and sometimes, admitting to someone how you've been feeling makes things much easier. The longer you're out of the normal way of things, in my experience, makes you feel worse - I've just been posting on someone else's thread talking about being long-term unemployed, and realised how I plummeted in that time because my world got smaller and smaller, and I got so anxious being outside, it was a struggle even to go the 300 feet to my doctor's surgery. I'd also have major panic attacks whilst signing on every fortnight - I'd forgotten until her thread how vile it was.

The good news, though, that once I had started to get back into things, confidence comes back quickly (and I am not at all a confident person): but once you realise you can do your job and function more or less as expected of a human being, everything else starts to slot into place.

Honestly - I really recommend speaking to someone: a friend or a manager - it will take a load of weight off, and then if you have a wobble, you won't be so stressed about it, because you've already spoken to someone.

I agree that once you start to get back into things, confidence comes back quickly .

Go back to your hobby (even if you don't join in at start)
and it will get better, defo.