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Pull yourselves together!!!!

1 reply

TheoriginalLEM · 13/11/2015 13:17

I posted this in Chat but there was tumble weed, its a bit of a taat but im hoping it will slip under the radar

Snap out of it, its been ages you can't go on like this, think positive, you have a choice....Hmm

Anyone with anxiety (and depression for that matter), will recognise those phrases and others like them.

The people who are saying to them mean well, they are often at the end of their tether trying to help somoene who "wont be helped".

People are given strategies to help by therapists and counsellors. Many will be encouraged to choose not to let anxiety get the better of them. hmm

Lots of people, thankfully, can take these strategies and utilize them, and that is fantastic.

Some people can't - and these phrases cut deep. Its like you are less of a person because you have let something as trivial as anxiety win. After all EVERYONE has anxiety. It is a positive thing in certain circumstances. It is what keeps us alive - if we never experienced anxiety and fear then we'd all be walking off the edge of cliffs or darting out in front of juggernaughts because we are in a rush to get to the other side of the road etc.

For some people though - its like there is no off switch, there is nothing to stop the anxiety from building and building. Strategies to cope? Well, once its gone so far no amount of rationalising is going to help. Anxiety is a liar, it tells you black is white and it shouts you down if you dare to argue. Anxiety is so noisy, it takes up every thoguht process so there is no room for rational. There is no room for choice. It just is. Just like the diabetic, their only strategy is to take their insulin, monitor their blood sugar and medicate accordingly. They don't have a choice whether or not to do this. Now they CAN make some lifestyle choices, exercise, diet etc and it will improve things and for some type 2 diabetics it may be enough, but for most it means injections and stabbing oneself every few hours.

For me, at the moment, i have no choice, i am like the less fortunate of Pavlov's dogs, the ones in the desensitisation experiments where in the end, they just lie down and take the pain or electric shocks because nothing they do makes a difference.

Its physical - from the moment i wake up (actually its often worse in the morning due to cortisol levels being naturally higher at this time) i have that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. Sometimes as the day goes it wanes and I can get on with life. Other days it just escalates, to the point where i am unable to string a sentence together because there is so much "noise" in my head.

Some days it gives me choices, but choosing to make it go away? i wish.

No, i have to "choose" the medication route. Taking meds with a list of side effects that i don't read anymore because well, it makes me anxious doesn't it. They have stolen my labido and i have put on at leasat 4 stone in weight. I "choose" to take these because the alternative is untenable.

OP posts:
hefzi · 14/11/2015 15:36

I once thought of starting a blog of "stupid things people say to people with depression" with passive aggressive responses -
why don't you go for a run? (Because it takes all my energy just toget out of bed in the morning)
you just need to pull yourself together (no, I don't, but I can pull you apart and that might make me feel better)
keep your chin up and a stiff upper lip (my mother - a counsellor Shock - has said this to me: her children are not allowed to have issues, though she's lovely with her clients...: I told her it was difficult, because holding the weird positions was giving me wrinkles)
no wonder you're depressed when you're overweight, have no family and no boyfriend (mother too - no, it's because I'm ageing prematurely from keeping a stiff upper lip at the same time I'm keeping my chin up)
you need to take more exercise (see first comment)
well, you just need to stop behaving like this (that one was from a psychiatrist...)

But I just think them instead: once I've stopped crying, obviously!

Seriously: thanks for your post - if only more people realised it's not a lifestyle choice or a bid for attention...

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