Doctor tomorrow

[ephemeralfairy]

I really hope this makes sense as I am shaking as I type. Have appointment first thing. Really scared. Basically I have to ask for a doctor's note to support my academic appeal at uni.
I had a dreadful time last year with anxiety and depression, missed assignments and did not submit extenuating circumstances in time.
There is a lot riding on this; it is kind of my last chance.
I feel bad asking the doctor for this as I always feel I'm using my MH problems as an 'excuse', although of course I know it is ridiculous to think that.
No-one knows what a mess I am in; I am too ashamed to admit that I have fucked it all up again.
The doctor is one I have seen before; she is very sympathetic. But I am still scared. I am considering writing down what I want to say before I go in. Am pretty sure I will fall to bits anyway. I will probably not sleep much tonight.

I had to do exactly that a year ago. It was I think the best decision (to see the GP) I've taken. The letter I needed for university cost £10, but it was money well spent. It meant I could delay my exam by 6 months. This was long enough to get help and get well. Good luck!

I think writing things down is a very good idea, as it will help you to remember everything at a time when you feel anxious. Also, you can just hand the list over if you feel shaky about saying it all aloud.

If you 'fall to bits' (get tearful?) when with your doctor, try to remember that she will have seen this many times before and it is a common part of anxiety and depression.

I feel bad asking the doctor for this as I always feel I'm using my MH problems as an 'excuse' You know that that is the depression talking, causing you to be far harsher on yourself than you would be if you were well.

Cook yourself something nice for dinner and have a bath. It won't cure your MH difficulties, but it sounds like you have had a very rough time and you deserve a treat.

Thank you both so much. Your kindness has made me tearful!

I think my reticence stems from a counsellor once being very begrudging and disapproving when I asked for a supporting statement from her. It made me feel awful for asking, like being a depressed wasn't a valid reason for needing help.

Also my uni are pretty unsympathetic, they state that 'ongoing mental health problems' are not a good enough reason for asking for extensions/resits etc. You have to state and provide proof that your problems have 'significantly worsened' for whatever reason. Sometimes there isn't a tangible reason is there?!

But yes, writing stuff down is a good idea. And I think I need a bit of self-care, the last 9 months or so have been pretty rough and I have dealt with most of it on my own.

Thank you again xx

Any time