Too embarrassed to admit I've got PND

[amcclements28]

My little is 11 weeks old, after ping the health visitor mental health test and KNOWING I was lying answering the questions as I'm just too embrasser. I'm 20, had very patronising midwives in hospital after a horrible birth (8cm for 8hours and gave birth 29 hours after waters broke meaning me and baby both got infections),
They put my baby on bottle so she don't get dehydrated and she stopped latching onto the boob, I feel extreme guy for her getting poorly and not bread feeding although I did express feed.. I just think people will think im not coping because of my age, I don't think that's the case, I have stress at home such as a cheating husoand who will not stop smoking weed... Haven't told anyone and don't want to feel like I'm a bad mum anymore

You don't sound like a bad mum you sound like a great mum who is under loads of pressure and needs some help. You don't have to tell your health visitor but your GP could really help. They aren't judgemental and will keep everything confidential. I hope everything gets easier for you.

I think with dc1 that I skirted very close to pnd but I was embarrassed to ask for help, so I struggled in and really didn't enjoy his baby period. With dc2 I knew I couldn't feel like that again do is ask for help if I needed it.

There's no shame in asking for help and you sound like a lovely mum

Best wishes

dont struggle on! its utterly exhausting and there is no medals for bravery!

i was a bit older when i had dc1 and had old midwives who went right through me, had a terrible tear that needed a lot of surgery and i could barely manage to sit and was terrified of my screaming baby and had to FF (different story with dc2 and 3). my dc1 is now 11 and i have been struggling with anxiety since then...im serious and i dont know how my marriage/sanity has managed to survive...i have been taking sertraline for 4 weeks now after seeing GP and HONESTLY answering a depression and anxiety questionnaire...top marks for anxiety and a bit lower for depressions, i have never felt suicidal/self harm though and now because of meds i have started to feel slightly better....
please see your GP and if you feel fobbed off make an appointment to see another!

Thankyo everyone for your messages, I have booked an appointment to see GP wednesday. I'm not sure how to even start explaining to them how I feel though... But it's a step I suppose. Uttly exhausted , am worried a gp will fob me off too, not sure why I am so embarrassed to admit I'm feeling completely awful

have a write down of the areas that your struggling with so you can start as they will say...what can i do for you today??

sleep
appetite
mood
anxiety
bonding?
how your coping with demands of baby
self care-are you washing/dressing yourself
say that you havent felt able to disclose to midwives/HV and now your really struggling....they will take you seriously

my first appointment i was fobbed off with a bit of ooh have a look at this online and try changing diet (mine wasnt query PND but still it had taken me years to pull myself together to get to GP)

Well I find the thing with hv (maybe just mine) I couldn't ask questions or pull up any queries as if I did it would be "that's not right, you need a lot of extra help etc" judging etc, idk maybe I am just paranoid
Oh doctors love you to "look up self help online" don't they
I always want to make my husband move out as I honestly think he's adding to me feeling awful!
I feel so mean even saying that too