Please anyone - tinnitus

[Sweetdreamsforall]

Hi

I wasn't sure where to post for the best help but ended up here because I'm losing my mind anyway. Sorry this is long :/

I have tinnitus - mild at first from 2009 then really bad from 2012 - it's several different pitched ringings in each ear, constant 24/7 it never stops. Like a bunch of kettles whistling. Some are louder than others. almost destroyed me. I have to have noise on all the time to cope. Rain sounds, music, tv etc and I always have my dyson fan on, it's my most effective white noise machine to help drown out some of the sound. I got pregnant and had my saving grace, a daughter, last Christmas. She has given me life again. I was suicidal when I first got it severe. I've had several nervous breakdowns since getting T, and I have various other health problems too plus depression and anxiety. Sleep is impossible mostly, but I've been an insomniac since I was little.

Anyway the reason I'm posting is I got an ear infection, probably about a month ago but guess I ignored it at first. I get mild earache a lot from the ringing and slight hyperacusis so I didn't truly believe I had an infection at first if you see? Then a week ago I went 'deaf' in my left ear and it was itching so bad so I knew it must be one! Went straight to doctor who gave me optimex ear drops. These sent my T crazy and ever since I've had a new extremely loud ring in my left 'deaf' ear which I can not mask as I can't hear my white noise, etc, properly. I also have something weird which will make you think I'm crazy. When I listen to my thunderspace app (various rain noises) or certain other sounds I can hear voices and a baby screaming. Like a real distressed cry but it's in the distance. I kept leaping up to go the nursery to find my 10 month old sound asleep. She hasn't cried like that since she was very small. I have stopped using my rain app and can't hear the crying. I got pretty worked up last night over it. I rely on my rain noises to mask the ringing.

My left ear is driving me insane. I keep telling myself it will go back down, it will go back down. I couldn't get in at the drs so a nurse called me back this morning. I explained everything but was crying like a 12 year old. She seemed a bit annoyed at me at one point because i couldn't talk properly for crying. I am so embarrassed and ashamed of myself. She did manage to get me an appt though for later today so that's a good thing. They told me no appts til November 10th when I asked at reception on Tuesday. I have always been afraid of doctors so I don't go unless I'm practically dying. It's really quite pathetic as I'm 30 years old now. I am so ashamed of myself. I feel so embarrassed after that phone call. I'm dreading the appt but I need help so bad.

I'm not depressed this time but have a feeling they will want to stick me on anti depressants - they usually try to. There's only a couple that don't affect my ears in some way so I dislike them anyway. I think they will give me antibiotics for the infection but I know there's not a lot else they can do.

I just want to be a good mum, I don't want to go back here again. I was managing to cope all year with my noise on. The baby is a good distraction too. But I'm so tired now. I'm losing my mind with this noise. I am frightened I will never get my hearing back and the noise won't settle.

I can usually only just hear it over the fan. Right now I can hear it over a train or double decker bus whizzing by. I need it to settle again or I will go crazy. I don't know how I can live if it stays like this.

Doctors never take this seriously, they just say oh you're depressed here's some pills, there's nothing we can do for the tinnitus, sorry. Just deal with the depression.

I really think I'm going to lose it again. Please, has anyone any experience of this. Will things settle down. I can't take this if it's permanent xx

Audiology, ask for a hearing therapy appointment and request a white noise ear piece

Please don't feel ashamed or embarrassed. If your tinnitus is affecting you like this, you need an audiology/ent/hearing therapy appointment to give you relevant help and reassurance.

Hey sweetdreams, I've had tinnitus for many years and like you it drove me insane, I don't think anyone really understands it until they have experienced it! When I first got it I was crying all the time couldn't sleep, it's so hard to enjoy anything as you are constantly reminded that it's there, I thought the rest of my life was over because this was never going away and there's no getting away from it, I looked all over the Internet looking for a solution. I had a hearing test and a scan on my head but everything was fine, eventually i just learned to live with it and I found when I stopped stressing about it I seemed to not hear it as much and it didn't bother me. When I'm stressed or worried upset it comes back, I definitely think it's linked to stress. Have you been referred to the ENT? They should give you methods how to mange it like someone said before white noise ear piece, maybe if you did try anti ds they would help you cope pick up ur mood make you less anxious about it? Please don't think ur alone i want to reassure you it can get better! When I first had it I thought if this is permanent I would rather not be able to hear. You can get through this xx

Thank you lionxmas1 that is exactly how it is you are so so right! I felt exactly the same. I seemed to habituate when I was around 6 months pregnant and since the baby was born I began coping much better with it and have done really well all year, just enjoying my lovely little one and ignoring the noise as much as possible. I just seem to have gone back to square one since I got this new super loud one, and the weird phantom crying noises. :( Stress and not sleeping has exacerbated it and also weakened my ability to cope, which you know all about I'm sure.

I went to the Drs yesterday afternoon and was such a mess that my partner had to speak for me halfway through. Luckily I got a really great doctor and she was really kind and understanding. She actually gave me diazepam and I also agreed to take amitriptyline as that is the only one that causes the least problems for me (and more importantly doesn't affect my ears). She said the infection has cleared and it is probably now this thick, glue-like stuff behind my ear drums that is causing these symptoms, including the deafness and the new tinnitus noises.

I feel a sense of relief - not just from the diazepam - but from the fact that there are things I can do to clear this and hopefully get the noise to settle to a more cope-able level again. It has given me hope. When it gets this bad I just have had enough and feel like I'd rather not wake up and listen to this anymore. That is such a terrifying thought now I have my daughter. She is the most precious thing to me, I love her like I've never loved anything. I have to keep fighting for her. But it just gets so hard. You can not think clearly from the noise and your mind just gets completely messed up. It's like you lose yourself.

The diazepam helps massively - I feel calm and less bothered by the noise. It's a genuine life safer. Unfortunately they rarely give this out because it's addictive. Sometimes I feel like the addicts out there (that abuse drugs without true need for them) have ruined things for people like us who greatly need this help. I am thinking clearly for the first time today. I feel like there is hope again. I wish I could have this kind of break once a month or something. Even at the old level I would have a meltdown a couple days every month.

Thanks for your kind advice bobbilyknob and Lunchpack. I saw an ent and audiologist a couple years ago and I do have the masking hearing aids, the noise is very like my ocean sounds and white noise devices. I use them on and off. I seem to prefer my dyson fan as the frequency seems to suit me better. But I think the ear piece might help my left ear right now so I'm going to try it today.

For anyone reading or those who may read this in the future, the advice the doctor gave me regarding clearing the 'glue' up in my head included; Vicks vapour rub, olbas oil (in an inhaler 'device') the allergy tablet cetirizine hydrochloride (piriton is the big brand but cheaper ones are also fine) Sudafed (with magic ingredients phenylephrine and guafinesin - I got the triple action ones) a nasal spray (Otrivine) and lots of hot water with lemons. This is not unlike sinusitis I suppose.

I am also now using serrapeptase which is something I used back when I had endometriosis, before I got rid of it and managed to conceive. This is quite a brilliant and underated supplement which has helped me with many health problems. If you want to know more just google or even message me if you want.

I am hoping so badly all these things help and that I can get the noise back to how it was before and go back to coping again. Just getting through one day at a time right now.

Thanks so much for replying to me. X

@Sweetdreamsforall how are you now? I’m going through similar and mine came on after two tablets of sertraline