I am finding it pretty hard to do the basics at the moment. Kids are getting to school and clean and dressed. They are not having the best meals, but they are not going hungry and I am working on it, but the house is usually a tip despite a cleaner coming once a week and I just feel so lethargic and sad.
I am a real introvert but my DH isn't and he really doesn't get that I need time to be alone. He is having major problems at work and is very down and is relying on me to keep his mood up and apply for jobs, help him find new opportunities which I find completely exhausting.
We live in DH's home city, which is not a place I generally enjoy living. I think I have been in mourning for where we used to live and idealising it. This is not unusual for me. I moved around a lot as a child so am used to always wishing I were somewhere else, but this is the worst it has been for me.
I also am not working at the moment which is part of the problem, because a job would force me to get out and do something every day instead of messing about on MN all the time. However, there aren't many opportunities and I am already breaking under the strain of managing the house/kids/PIL/DH's career opportunities so am terrified of taking anything extra on.
My confidence is at rock bottom and I don't really want to confide in my few friends because I know that they will just tell me what I want to hear. I am unfit, overweight, fed up and just want to scream. It has reached the point that I don't even feel better after a couple of hours alone, which used to sort me out.
I am bored too I think but too fragile to do anything.
Oh, and there is no mental health provision here unless you are dangerously psychotic.
I just don't know whether there is something wrong or if I should just buck up my ideas and get on with it like everyone else.