Don't want to socialise

[IrianofWay]

I suffer from depression and anxiety. Most of the time it's not a big deal. I have it under control with medication and I know how to keep myself as stable as possible. One of the ways I control this is by being occupied - I don't let myself slack off ever. I am also aware that although I am a reasonable friendly approachable person I don't have many friends - over the years I have forced myself to join things so that I meet people - but it's a chore. I don't enjoy the responsibility of friendship and tend to let things slide (although that is obviously a two-way street).

H is really sociable although he doesn't really talk in depth to any of his friends - is that just a man things? DD who is 16 has already stated that I don't seem to need friends like she does.

For example I joined a running club last year. I love running and really enjoyed running with the club for a while but now I feel I have to force myself to go - but I'd happily set off on my own.

Does it matter ? How weird is it not to need other people? I have three kids and a husband, my parents are close by and I have a very few close friends that I don't see very often but who are always there when we need each other. Is it odd to see socialising as just another chore?

Perhaps you're an introvert.

I don't bother with anyone other than dh and the kids as I'm very introverted.

Perhaps your depression is having an effect too.

Thanks hidden

I have always sort of assumed I was introverted but seen it as a bit of a negative, something to be fought against.

I must admit this time of years is a struggle for me - I wouldn't say I was depressed atm but certainly I always feel heavier in the autumn - it's all so much effort. I will be going running and feel better for it but don't have the energy for the social bit that goes along with the the club.

Being an introvert is fine, honestly.

This time of year does feel a bit oppressive and not always very nice.

Don't force yourself to do stuff, just go with how you feel.

You are right. I get myself in such a stew every thursday because I feel I must go because it's normal to want to see other people. But I guess after 50 years I should know what I do and don't want to do.

Most of my life is driven by rules that I set myself.

You're putting too much pressure on yourself

Socialising is overrated anyway.

Definitely no need to socialise if you don't want to. I used to fill every slot that I had with meeting up with people and now I don't. The only thing I would say is that there is definitely a correlation between how depressed I am and my desire to see people; I know I am generally better than I have been for the past few years (despite what my despairing thread of the last couple of days would suggest!) because I'm actually seeking out and enjoying some socialising. And I am definitely more positive when I've caught up with a good friend. Big groups? Definitely not for me.