I'm on the ward

[swisscheesetony]

Police and ambulance at the door last night because I told my ex I'd cut myself.

1. Don't care if I live or die
2. Maybe now I can get some help
3. I have a massive stash of morphine at home if if doesn't get better

I was so angry the police turned up. I knew deep down he'd called them because he's too gutless to have come himself.

I'm now a "vulnerable person".
Blue-lighted out if my tiny village. Nice.

hello swiss i understand you are probably angry but your ex done what he thought best .my hubby is currently in the mental health ward at our local hospital ..its scary when someone either threatens to or does self harm .dont worry about being taken away in ambulance i am past caring what our neighbours think .just concentrate on getting yourself better .and dont even think about the morphine this will solve nothing

Can you tell someone about the Morphine? why do you have this? is it something you have to help you deal with pain?

Please do use this opportunity to get yourself sorted out - this could be the start of the begining.

You are going to get better. x

Can you tell someone about the Morphine? why do you have this? is it something you have to help you deal with pain?

Please do use this opportunity to get yourself sorted out - this could be the start of the begining.

You are going to get better. x

Someone gave me a large amount a couple of years ago as emergency pain relief ( their prescription not mine).

Tbh I don't see anything getting better unless they dope me up to the eyeballs.

Fuxking gp sat on my couch last night asking me "what's wrong" when she wouldn't talk to me before and I've had to stash Valium.

i hope you are ok

Hi April

They discharged me after lunch saying I've got a choice to kill myself or not, they won't give me meds as that'll stop me thinking and I'm "intelligent and funny" - cos that makes it all ok.

Ex picked me up and I'm staying at his tonight.

swiss glad you are ok .if you ever need to talk just message me

Glad you are ok but can't believe they won't give you meds. Can you try another doctor? Really sounds like you could do with some help. Have you been offered counselling?

They're giving me an appointment for next week to see the psychiatrist and the team will take it from there. But it seems a long way away.

I'm currently just on 10mg paroxetine - I feel like I could use AP's right now.

The nurse said yesterday they'd get me therapy although agreed it would need to be a clinical psychologist as opposed to a run-of-the-mill counsellor which I suppose is something.

Necked a bottle of wine when I got home. They say it doesn't help - but it gets me to sleep.

swiss been there loads of times with pretty much the same result. Try and hang in there and call the crisis team if you need to

I've got my psych appointment tuesday which is good - gives me time to prepare.

The phone started ringing off the hook when I got home yesterday (from ex), first psychiatrist, then social worker, then GP, then health visitor.

Neighbours are being "super" nice and my ex ran me up to the shop earlier so I could buy chocolate, fags & wine (the dining experience of kings) and the shop staff - or maybe I imagined it - seemed smiley but cautious if that makes sense. Everyone knows, don't really want to out myself but basically we don't have a police force here... so when the police turn up at nearly 11pm everyone knows something is happening.

I'll all alone now until Tuesday which will be hard.

Oh and the sodding boiler has burst - thank goodness the guy from the council came out within 20 minutes and it will all be replaced although it'll mean knocking down half the wall.

And breathe. And repeat.