bad few days, just need a rant!!!!!

[merrylissiemas]

i've had pnd for 18 months now. over the last year i've had 3 mc's. been seeing a counsellor twice a week and am now on 150mg of sertraline. still having good and bad days. yesterday took ds to a xmas party and had an episode, got all panicky and upset, everything seemed loud and distant. been quite low for a few days. i haven't wanted to leave the house or get dressed. i know that it'll pass, but at the mo it doesn't seem like it. feel v low again today, got migraine (side effect of ads) and just feel that it isn't worth me even trying at the mo.

lissie....it is worth trying......it can get better........i;ve been there...and got through it......this time of year is quite bad , as i recall, as so many more social situations to get through and emphasis all on the children.......is it possible to change ADs,,,migraines make you feeel bad enough, but coupled with depression must be awful,..

i was prescribed Venloflaxine (Sp?) 175 mg ....and it bloody worked, very qucikly, after years of 20 mg of this and 60 mg of that.......

try to get dressed, even if you don;t go out, it will make you feel a bit better,,,,,maybe have a bath if DH is around to look after DS....take a little time out for yourself.....

you can come through this,..... i know you can...you are a strong, good person,..and you will get there....(((hugs)))

the prob is i've been on sertraline for so long that i'd have to be weaned off it and the last time we tried that i got vvvv low, vvvvv quickly. i just feel ............. grey, iykwim. v tired and angry. the rational side of me knows that i will get better and soon the good days will outweigh the bad but its been 18 months now and i'm just tired of feeling like this.

i do know......when i swapped from seroxat to venloflaxine, there was no weaning off...just a swap....when i came of them finally, i did have to be weaned off...but it was ok in the end...

i was there for years.....4 years....and it can get better...i know how you feel...no joy in anything, no colour , no fun, no feeling, always being on the outside, looking in..with the right help,it can pass.

i asked for a referral to a psychiatrist as i felt that the counselling and teh ADs the doc prescribed jsut were not enough...

thanks lulu, 4 years?? it's just so scary. i know that the main reason is ds's birth, and i think thats part of why i want to get pg again. i just feel like i failed every step of the way it took 6 years ttc, then i was ill thru pg, i was induced which failed then ecs then with gbs i was too ill to bf and now pnd. i know i'm not being rational but......

mine was not diagnosed for 18 months......

have you tried the birth trauma association or sheila kitzinger's birth crisis...if you google them you will find them,.. i can link later when on MAC.....both can help you deal with the trauma of your first birth..you really should debrief yourself and put that birth 'to bed' , as it were ,before you move on to the next one...IMHO

my PND was triggered by my first birth....failed induction, led to em, c.s.......felt so cheated and like i had failed as i had not 'given birth', but DS has been surgically removed from me.....

the only thing i did, was to wait until i was better until we started to try for DD..as didnlt want to be depressed and pregnant and cope with a new born and DS>.

but i did very much feel like a positive birth would heal me .,...and as you know, i had a VBAC and that is what inspired me to train as doula,.....beccause a positive birth made such a difference to me...not a hint of PND this time,,,,,

i did go to a support group and the 1 thing we all had in common was bad births. but the other mums are all better now. it just makes me so angry that this was allowed to happen. i was a size 6 pre ds and am v tiny only 5"2 with size 2 feet and he was 9lb 2. I was HUGE went up to a size 14 maternity all bump and measured 42 weeks at 36 but midwife kept saying i was having a small baby.

hindsight is wonderful.......

midwifes can sadly , sometimes, not always, be dismissive of the fears of first time mums..and put it down to being neurotic...

you can get better lissie,, you really can....try one of the birth crisis organisations,,, they can really help..not least by listening non judgementally.....
it is hard,but you need to believe you will recover...

speak to doc re different ads,....

I dont really have any advice - except listen to Lulu But wanted to give you a {{hug}} Might be worth changing your ADs, it might be a little bit if hell in the changeover, but better in the long run... As lulu says, maybe just have a warm bath and throw on some clothes, brush your hair and brush your teeth (always make me feel better!?!) and I think it will make you feel abit more...human?

{{hugs}}

thank you so much, i feel a bit better now. it's nice to know that i'm not a freak