so low and alone

[purplepavements]

Can anyone just be with me for a bit?

I'm about to go to bed but I'm sure others will be here soon.

hi purple
what up?

Another person here too. Do you want to talk?

I just want to die at the moment. Don't want to feel like this anymore

Can you talk about it purple?

I booked a holiday because I had such a crap year and now I can't go
I miss my daughter so much

Oh purple I'm here and really care. You shouldn't feel like this and is there someone you can talk to? The Samaritans 116 123 if not? Their website says they're open 24/7 and free to call.

Where is your daughter? What went wrong to cancel the holiday?

And keep posting here if it stops you feeling lonely. It makes me sad to think of you so down and where are you?

How old is your daughter purple? Why can't you go away?

My daughter died at the beginning of last year, I miss her more and more, people are fed up with me being sad now. I had to cancel my holiday because I m so unwell. I can't think enough to move. I can't even breathe a lot of the time. I just lay in my bed or ok the sofa. I hate it, this is so debilitating

Sorry I know I am pathetic. And useless

I'm so sorry purple. You are brave to post. Your body and mind need time to heal and you should take as much rest as you need, never feel guilty about that. Who is with you most days?

No one is with me. I left my ex because he was really abusive. I really miss him too which I know is so stupid. But there you go. I am so alone, and so dark.

Can you go to a support group? Would you be able to talk to your GP about meeting other people who have been through losing a child purple? You shouldn't have to deal with this darkness alone purple there are people out there who feel like you too. I'm so sorry you are alone with this grief.

Hi purple . I don't know how old your dd was but I lost my baby back in 2011,he was absolutely perfect but died when I gave birth. I've had another child since then and am pregnant again but 6 weeks ago my husband was killed in a car accident. I have no advice to you really but I just wanted to let you know your not alone. These feelings of overwhelming grief come and go,some days we're strong,others we're not and this is the way is will be until we can learn to live with what's heppened. I have completely come to terms with the loss of my baby,I still cry every now and again but I know I have accepted what's happened to my little boy. My husband is all so very very raw and I think this one will take a long long time to accept,he was the love of my life,but I have hope that one day I will be happy again. Do you want to tell me about your dd?

She was 27 months. She was perfect. I'm sorry about your son and husband x

Im so sorry to hear that.It doesn't matter what anyone says to you,nothing eases the pain. We just have to hope that time will ease the pain,it did with my baby boy and I'm sure in a few years it will with my husband. We just need to keep on living and try to keep busy as much as we can.

It is so hard to think what you have both been through OP and Lighthouse. I do think you need support in whatever form you can try to find it and how hurtful your friends haven't been more understanding OP given this is a pain that won't go away as you'll always miss her.
And please please don't be hard on yourself, you sound like you have very low self esteem and remember to your daughter how precious a Mummy you were and carry on knowing that, that you are worth so very much and that you have been through so much and keep going. Also anytime you have a negative thought can you turn it into something positive like keeping busy with something positive or even in memory of your daughter?

I feel for you so very much.

You might also get a lot of support on the bereavement board and feel less alone. It is hardly surprising you are finding things hard and be kind to yourself

Thinking about youpurple.x

purple I'm still thinking of you lots too. And really keen you reach out to someone in RL too, even your GP, and be honest about how you're feeling as it must be so very hard and so important you have support